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Oasbycricketclub — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 11:02:39 CST

OASBY CRICKET CLUB.

The Baboon Army.
Indoor Nets now on. St. Georges Acadamy, Sleaford. 8-9pm Thursdays.

Outdoor Training : Ropsley Cricket Ground-
Thursdays between 7pm and 9pm .

Home ground : Ropsley

Club house : The Green Man, Ropsley

Contact : Dick Caley (captain) 01476 563931 richard.caley@live.com
Dave Gilbert ( Vice captain & secretary) 07944 988147
davidgoasby@aol.com
Jon Chandler (fixtures) 07843 376040 jon.chandler@talktalk.net
Bill Guinness (chairman) 07964 505043 billguinness@hotmail.com
Mike Tedbury(treasurer) 07946 435696 mike.tedbury@zen.co.uk

No indoor nets on 1/3/12 or 8/3/12. We presume the students are having their little tests.
Last indoor session at St Georges is on 19/4/12.
Then it's the great outdoors at Ropsley and Craig's lovely beers.

Oasby Cricket 2011

Oasbycricketclub — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 10:53:58 CST

I'm not promising anything but has anyone else noticed that the word "risible" appears in our game reports on a regular basis. Check out Mike Atherton in The Times.....he uses "risible" with great frequency (usually to describe an Australian effort of great patheticatude)......perhaps he's scouting our games for fresh English talent....... or even Australian .....they need a spin meister............Just a spur to even greater efforts this year.

FIXTURES 2011 - courtesy of Gilbert, D, BSc.Hons. webmaster extraordinary.

APRIL
24th Spalding Away
29th Nelsons Ashes 6 a side

MAY
21st Hougham & Marston Away

JUNE
5th G. Ponton Home
19th Scopwick Home

JULY
3rd Nelsons Ashes Home
10th Scopwick Away
13th Seas End Hall Away
17th G.Ponton Away
24th Bricklayers Arms Home
31th Ashby Carrington Home

AUG
7th Scopwick Away
13th Hougham & Marston Away
21st Nelsons Ashes Away
27th Ashby Carrington Away

SEPT
11th Spalding Home 1pm
18th Ropsley Home



					Oasby Averages 2011

Batting

	Innings	Not out	Runs	Average
Husemeyer	5	1	29	7.25
Guinness	9	1	119	14.8
Caley	10	1	68	7.5
Booth	6	1	27	5.4
Hyland	8		87	10.8
Gaunt	9	1	325	40.6
Gilbert	9	2	174	24.8
Helliwell J	5		135	26.8
Chandler	6	2	89	22.25
Helliwell W	4	2	1	0.5
Tedbury	4	2	9	2.25
Leader	5	1	276	69
Davidson	3	1	12	6
Enever	1		86
Clamp	1		0
Wilson	1		0
Tedbury D	1		11
Hyland F	1		0
Reider	1		1
Reeves	1		6
Lee	1		36


Bowling

	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wickets	Avg Runs/wicket	Avg Runs/over
Chandler	53	9	150	9	16.7	2.8
Gilbert	65	7	234	15	15.6	3.6
Leader	31	5	108	3	36	3.4
Helliwell J	33	3	153	7	21.8	4.6
Helliwell W	29	1	151	5	30.2	5.2
Gaunt	26	3	111	6	18.5	4.2
Caley	9	0	70	1	70	7.7
Tedbury	45	1	220	8	27.5	4.9
Davidson	22	3	62	2	31	2.8
Husemeyer	5	1	26	1	26
Booth	4	0	21	2	10.5
Guinness	2.5	0	12	2	6
Enever	2	0	9	0
Wilson	1	0	20	0
Tedbury D	4	1	5	0
Hyland F	8	0	44	1
Trotter	5	1	15	1
Miles	6	0	24	1

Catches: 1 each to Hyland, F; Hyland, I; Booth; Helliwell, W; Reider; Helliwell, J; 2 each to Tedbury; Davidson; Guinness; 3 to Enever; Gaunt; 4 to Leader; 5 to Gilbert.
Anyone who can testify the number of DROPS for each fielder please send info to Tedbury, M.

Oasby v Ropsley. Sunday 25th September 2011; Oasby won by 4 runs; Ropsley 179 off 35 overs, Oasby 183 off 35 overs.

Oasby took to the field whilst Guinness looked in vain for the kit bag and his wicket keeping kit. Recriminations began early, with Tedbury cited as the culprit until a sheepish Hyland was spotted on the phone to home and the angel that is Julie, to deliver the kit that Hyland left in storage.
The Chandler twins opened the bowling for the Baboons. Very strange weather conditions occurred during this spell as both bowlers looked as though they were battling into a force ten gale with their braces caught on the sight screen! One suspects that sports day was not a favourite entry in the Chandler boys calendar. Gilbert and Helliwell took over with better reward. The batter 'S. Troppy' certainly rode his luck and did his best to motivate the opposition players. When he perished, to smiles all around, the game changed.
Trotter on his debut for the Baboons bowled with good economy along with William Helliwell and both took a wicket. Gaunt dropped a shameful dolly. Through his hands the ball fell, to be replaced by his now puce face. Shocking. Helliwell then injured himself in the line of duty. His side in agony, Helly had to throw the ball back in as though he was playing 'I'm a little tea pot'. If one imagines John Inman with hand on hip, limp wristing the ball back to the wicket keeper, then we have a fair picture. Gaunt bowled a mixed bag at the death to keep the score to 179, a score the seemed to be heading over 200 at one stage.

Tea was splendid. Many thanks to Ropsley.

Dickie Booth took the opening slot, vacated by the out of form captain, but as was later shown by Caley, form is temporary, class is permanent. Dickie Booth didn't linger. Hyland and Guinness both batted well and briskly. Run rate was kept to, whilst first Gaunt and then Gilbert amassed runs. Once again Ropsley tried their best to motivate Oasby and succeeded after a full and frank mid crease discussion. Gaunt then launched a missile over the 'motivators' head for six glorious runs. Although Gaunt tried his best to run out Gilbert and/or get himself caught, he got his 50, but was out stumped soon after. Helliwell then joined the party and batted with customary force. Helliwell and Gilbert controlled the pace although never got ahead of the required run rate. When Helliwell perished, it was left to Chandler to see the team home. Over throws helped, but it came down to the last over with Gilbert on strike and three runs to win. He steadied himself. Was Gilbert a man or a mouse.
The cheese lover left the field after having glory snatched from his grasp, caught on the boundary (of the square and outfield).
Caley entered stage left. single. Chandler likewise. Scores tied, two balls remain. Caley misses. Hush descends. Last ball. Bowler trots in, Caley like a Jedi Knight, eyes closed, scythed the ball away for four and victory. Feel the force.

Back in the club house, Craig, looking a million dollars, surprised his loyal Baboons with chip cobs, baps and barm cakes. Very welcome and a kind gesture. Craig is very grateful to our patronage and support over this season and likewise, we are grateful for his. Thankyou.x
See you at the AGM, Green man, Ropsley, 20th October 7.30.pm

Chandler J 6-2-33-0. Chandler C 6-1-31-0 Gilbert 6-0-42-2 Helliwell J 4-1-23-0 Trotter 5-1-15-1 Helliwell W 4-0-18-1 Gaunt 4-0-15-1
Guinness 28. Booth 0. Hyland 23. Gaunt 55. Gilbert 35. Helliwell J 24. Chandler J 5 not out. Caley 5 not out.

Oasby v Spalding Sunday 11th september 2011; Oasby won by 110 runs; Oasby 239 for 7 off 40 overs, Spalding 129 all out.

Oasby were invited to bat by a 'Youthful' Spalding team. Caley and Guinness opened in the usual manner and unselfishly let others have a go. Hyland, cheered on by his mum, started strongly, until Gaunt entered the game and requested 'his' bat back. Poor Hyland stood no chance as Gaunt wrestled the 'Big Kahuna' out of Hyland's grip and thrust a replacement into his hands. To show that no ill feeling persisted Gaunt then ran out Hyland and dispatched him to the pavilion and the consoling arms of his mother. Dickie Booth found his best form to date whilst Gilbert kept things ticking until the main event of the afternoon saw Enever and Helliwell produce a display of astounding ferocity. Gaunt's hooked six was but a distant memory as Helliwell smote balls onto the road, into fields and into the stratosphere. A splendid partnership was built and Enever ended the innings undefeated. 240 the target.

Tea, supplied by Caley, Guinness and Gilbert was a triumph. All agreed that Gilbert's Victoria sponge was a belter, and that one day he would make someone a lovely wife.

Gaunt sulked. With weasel like cunning Gilbert had sneaked into the slip cordon and this was the end of Gaunt's world. Nothing could console him. He was a broken man.
William Helly was given the honour of opening the attack and did himself great credit with his mature display. Dickie Booth at the other end opened his Oasby bowling career with Tedbury like non spin. They deservedly took a brace each. Caley took over from Helliwell W to give the young worrior a break and found the middle of the bat with flourish and panache. Gilbert started with off spin and finished with seam. The batsmen much preferred his spin. Chandler bored everyone to distraction, Helliwell J was too good and removed from the attack. During all this Dickie Booth pouched a swirling skyer. Take a bow son. Hyland dropped the simplest of chances to Gilbert, which went some way to cheering up Gaunt but left Hyland's mother inconsolable in the pavilion, so embarrassed was she by her son's ineptitude. William continued to bowl well and was let down by Chandler who was not paying attention and missed a chance, for which he was loudly and enthusiastically chastised. Guinness and Enever finished off the game with slow and slower deliveries. Guinness took the final two wickets, much to the annoyance of Chandler who will write a strongly worded email to the captain, explaining that it is 'not fair' if Guinness is considered for the bowling averages. William bagged a catch for Guinness and Enever took his third catch to finish off the innings and see the Baboons victorious.

The Green Man beckoned and 6x was splendid but ran out. 8.5/10.
Craig looked lovely behind the bar with his new hair cut.
All of the Spalding players came for a drink of pop and a packet of crisps. In 5 or 6 years some of them might get away with being served.

Caley 6;Guinness 5;Hyland 8;Gaunt 28;Booth 14;Gilbert 27;Enever 86 not out;Helliwell J 41;Chandler 8 not out.
Helliwell W 8-1-34-2 Booth 4-0-21-2 Caley 2-0-15-0 Gilbert 8-3-19-2 Chandler 4-2-10-0 Helliwell J 3-1-4-1 Guinness 2.5-0-12-2 Enever 2-0-9-0.
Catches Booth 1; Helliwell W 1; Enever 3.

Oasby v Ashby Carrington Saturday 27th August 2011; Oasby lost by 28 runs; Ashby 212 for 6 off 40 overs, Oasby 184 all out off 37.5 overs

Great excitement in the Oasby camp- - they were to be augmented by a welsh wizard. Unhappily his sat nav spell did not work and he is somewhere in the ether, looking for Bill’s house. Thus nine eager, non caravan washing, non golf playing, non footballing and non combining members turned up to wreak revenge on Ashby. Sadly Ashby’s team was genuinely augmented by bowlers that could bowl and an uneven pitch that helped them.

Oasby bowled first under threatening skies. Chandler returning to the fold could not cope with the bright light and needed his radar adjusting for daytime use. Once this was achieved some balls did go down off side though a wicket was not achieved til his second spell. Leader screamed at the lowering skies and was helpfully advised by Tedbury that the cricket ball was bigger than a football. Oddly incorrect; perhaps it’s all a matter of perspective. Gilbert bowled tidily and occasionally angrily - angry to occasionally offer pies to the team from Melton – silly idea. Regrettably the pie quotient increased with Helliwell and Tedbury – both serving up good balls in between and both rewarded by wickets. Helliwell Jnr showed the senior players how to bowl tidy overs before tiring and being given the long handle. Oasby’s catching was not of the finest – Tedbury leapt like a crippled salmon to miss a straight one, Leader confidently called for a skier which failed to touch his hands and Chandler stepped smartly six inches to his left to fumble a catch off Tedbury (was this retribution for a previously perceived Tedbury error?) On the plus side catches were taken by a shouting Gaunt, silent Tedbury and jubilant Guinness.

A splendid tea was consumed as Oasby wondered if they’d been a little too kind to their opponents. A little less pie throwing and a bit more catching could have more seriously dented Ashby’s progress. Still with good technique and several sticks of rhubarb they were confident of victory.

Oasby got off to a poor start with the senior openers bamboozled by in-cutting balls from the tall Indian. Caley unlucky to be given lbw to a ball that was hitting middle and leg, having missed everything else. Leader and Gaunt then made good and occasionally exciting progress – Gaunt happy to add to his six-count while performing feats of mental arithmetic. Both undone by balls moving unexpectedly off the pitch. All was not lost however as Helliwell senior showed power enough to add to his six count only to also be undone by the treacherous pitch. But wait – Oasby still had Chandler, the Big Kahuna and “that shot“ while Gilbert went 1-2-1-2-1-2 (it’s his ambition to be the sound-check man at a rock concert)). Will Helliwell became the 7th victim of the pitch and Tedbury strode to the wicket with his stick of rhubarb. This worked well for 3 runs til over enthusiasm allowed Ashby’s debutant wicket-keeper to effect a surprise run out. Will and Captain Caley returned to ensure 11 batsmen until Gilbert was surprisingly given out lbw. He did not complain. A valiant effort by all which would have been more successful with proper technique, the odd grandmother or two and a less Ashby-bowler-friendly pitch.

Beer at the Carington Arms: points awarded by guest reviewer Caley – 9 for the Landlord and 8 for the Cumberland Ale. Lovely.
.
Guinness 2, Caley R 0, Leader 33, Gaunt 37, Helliwell J 43, Gilbert 23, Helliwell W 0, Chandler 14, Tedbury 2, W Helliwell 0, Caley D 1
Chandler 8-1-26-1, Leader 6-1-31-0, Gilbert 8-0-33-1, Helliwell 7-0-47-2, Tedbury 8-0-44-2, Helliwell W 3-0-20-0
Catches:- one each for Tedbury, Guinness, and Gaunt

OASBY V SCOPWICK AT RAF DIGBY 7TH AUG 2011. OASBY LOST BY 3 OVERS. OASBY 189 FOR 5. SCOPWICK 190 FOR 4 OFF 37 OVERS.

Oasby, eleven strong and keen as mustard, warmed up in the pavilion with a frank and honest discussion of the merits of various red light districts around the world. We are certainly a well travelled team! Gilbert was still befuddled from an incident with tequila from the night before. Everyone knew what was in store when he put his knee support on the wrong joint and had to get changed again to rectify the oversight. Scopwick's astro turf is a track that batsman can book in for bed and breakfast. An uncovered wicket of the best plastic, Tedbury's mother could bat on it with a stick of rhubarb. Hence Caley put us in to bat and took to the field with Leader. Comedy running provoked some rueful head shaking from Keith and a new respect for Guinness who has to cope with it every week. Leader, as always, played with culture. Gaunt and Leader played some aggressive cricket until the latter mistimed a pull and departed for a sound 41. Hyland, his favourite bat in Gaunt's clutches, could do little to contribute. Gaunt was on a mission of destruction with the old 'Big Kahuna'. Gilbert turned the strike over and left it to Gaunt who eventually finished with Nelson.111 a fine knock. During Gaunts onslaught, sixes were dispatched into the trees and needed rescuing. A spaniel was sent to recover any balls lost. A stunned silence hushed the pavilion when Hyland asked the dogs lady owner,'is your dog the ball sniffer then?' Husemeyer played with a straight bat and kept the score ticking while William Helliwell faced Sergeant at the death to keep his cricketing education on the up.

At tea we felt satisfied that we had done our best, but worried that we may have been twenty runs short. Terry was voted to keep wicket and the scene was set for both Gaunt and Leader to feature in the attack with the customary chuntering from the centurion.

From the off things went Scopwick's way. Justin Helliwell opened the bowling and produced his best cricket in a Baboon shirt. Gilbert bowled like a Mexican. No wonder Mexico are bad at cricket if they drink Tequila! Leader bowled much tidier cherries but still the rub of the green was with Scopwick. Catches looped over heads, fell short, through the slip cordon and balls missed stumps by a coat of vaseline . It was Tedbury who really livened up the game. With 'ball sniffer' at the ready Tedbury bowled his usual no spin 'spin'. However something was badly wrong. Mike didn't know where to aim and kept bowling wides. After a few words of advice from his team mates normal service was resumed. Mike found the middle of Tasker's bat with unerring regularity and 'ball sniffer' was one happy and busy spaniel. Mexicans are also pathetic catchers along with Disney characters. William bowled two overs of real promise, putting the more experienced amongst the throng, to shame.
Gaunt chuntered away bowling into a terrible downpour that would have seen lesser men defeated by the weight of the ball, now wet and soaked from rain and 'ball sniffers' saliva. Justin partnered 'nelson' Gaunt and wickets began to fall. Booth fielded with athletic grace, diving onto balls like a tramp onto a dropped kebab. Gaunt took a steepler at the end but
alas it was all in vain as Scopwick took the game but Oasby the series 2-1.

The Royal Oak was our watering hole with Black sheep, Bombardier, Broadside and apple cider along with pear perry. Tedbury as usual ordered a pint from the bottom of the barrel and moaned. Broadside was excellent. 8/10. Kieth's apple cider was also as described. 9/10.

Leader 41.Caley 3.Gaunt 111. Hyland 2. Gilbert 13. Husemeyer 6 no. Helliwell W. 0 no.
Helliwell J.8-0-32-1 Gilbert 8-0-37-0 Leader 5-0-14-0 Tedbury 6-0-48-1 Helliwell W. 2-0-11-0 Gaunt 8-0-43-2.
Catches.Gaunt-1.

Oasby v Ashby Carrington 31st July 2011, lost by 4 wickets; Oasby 146 all out off 37 overs, Ashby 148 for 6 off 28.2 overs

A warm, sunny day with, as Ashby’s India supporter pointed out, a cooling breeze. Perfect for cricket. Oasby won the toss and elected to bat, Captain Caley confident his band of merry players could set a total to defend. They started well with fours from Guinness and Caley and several of those lovely extras but both departed to catches while trying to force the pace. Husemeyer then carefully compiled runs before being run out – in his own ironic words “fannying about”. There followed the partnership of the innings: Hyland’s muscular shots peppering the boundary and Gilbert’s bat once again happy that it’s owner knew where the middle was. The knowledgeable crowd was astounded as several (scoring) shots flashed on the off side. Cruelly Gilbert confessed to the umpire that he could not claim a run when he had not hit the ball – thus when he departed clipping the ball for a catch to mid-on his score was once again 49, not 50. Then it all went wrong. Oasby’s tail did not wag. It scarcely even twitched, though the final partnership was looking good with Tedbury cruising to 3 when he was sacrificed by Clamp’s over-eager calling. Last week Oasby had defended 189; could they defend 146?

Much to discuss at tea – and what a tea! Tea has become a competition. Who can produce the most sumptuous looking and tasting fare? On this occasion Husemeyers excelled with a contribution from Gilbert. The grass cuttings tasted excellent.

The players dragged themselves from the tea room and Oasby set about claiming the 10 wickets. Davidson bowled like a Chandler but with more whirling. Gilbert bowled like a Gilbert but with less wickets. It was not until the medical men were brought on that wickets started to fall. Davidson earlier unlucky with a caught behind appeal was pleased to see Taylor depart clean bowled by Tedbury, this batsman still unhappy to depart – when the ball has made a nasty mess of your stumps you have to go, sir, however slowly the ball arrived! There followed a splendid stumping by Guinness and a wicket each for Husemeyer and Caley. Husemeyer in particular astounding all with his spin, dip and variation. Oasby battled hard but could not quite prevent the boundaries. No catches were dropped; Rieder happy to contribute more than a bum-tap to the game along with Tedbury, Davidson, and Gilbert demonstrating various catching techniques.

Beer 4/10 – there was only 1 pint of it and while it tasted good the follow up Guinness was, well, Guinness, you can't have points for something that isn't real. Some drank fizzy apple juice. No-one knows why.
Catches: Gilbert, Tedbury, Rieder, Davidson 1 apiece

Caley 8, Guinness 20, Husemeyer 8, Gilbert 49, Hyland 26, Booth 2, Rieder 1, Davidson 1, Wilson 0, Tedbury 3, Clamp 0 n.o. (but guilty).
Davidson 5-1-10-1, Gilbert 4 -0-22-0, Caley 5-0-37-1, Tedbury 8-0-31-3, Husemeyer 5-1-26-1, Wilson 1-0-20-0

Oasby v Bricklayers Arms, Putney. July 24th 2011. Oasby won by 23 runs.Oasby 189 for 9. BLA 166 for 6.

Our Londinium friends arrived for a tour party on Saturday evening at chez Caley, our fine skippers not so humble abode. A most convivial evening was had by all, and many thanks are required to be passed to said captain, said captains lady wife, Cath, the pig man and to Mike and Jon for procuring and purchasing the beer. Also thanks to all club members and their families for making our club have such a friendly atmosphere.

The morning of the game heralded clear skies and the out field full of footballers. Start delayed with many apologies and a little more time to clear fuzzy heads.
Oasby elected to bat with Hyland I. catching the eye with a brisk cameo of 23, including a fine 6. Leader batted with aplomb, with fine shots pinging off his bat and was the pick of Oasby's line up by far. Everyone contributed to greater or lesser degree. Davidson achieved a career highlight of 10 not out. The best place to experience the Bricklayer's best bowler, Rahul, was at the non strikers end!

Tea was again mainly organised by Captain Caley with Lincolnshire cheeses, more pork and other fine tasty treats.

With Bricklayers Arms chasing 190 to win Davidson and Chandler started proceedings. Chandler's radar needed recalibration but worked well again after reset. If Chandler fails to respond simply switch him off at the mains, wait thirty seconds and turn him back on again. Parsimonious accuracy was restored. First change saw Gilbert and Tedbury D. to the attack with no luck. Although catches were shelled, non of them were easy and everyone tried their very best. The opposition rode their luck. Tedbury D. bowled like our cyborg Chandler. Mean in the extreme.
Fraser Hyland bowled a good spell, again without luck, joined by Gaunt who posed the batsmen questions. Eventually Oasby's luck changed and catches went to hand.
With squeaky bum time approaching Dr. Spin was called into the attack and bowled splendidly to a well thought out and organised field. Runs dried up and Oasby won a great game of cricket.
Back to the club house to be told that as a thank you for holding up our game, Ropsley F.C. had paid for a round of drinks. Many thanks to them for that kind gesture. Tedbury tested a pint of cats bum IPA and announced a quality index of 8/10. Dave Tedbury talked us through every one of his deliveries, batting and bowling, this season and last, until we could stand it no more and we all went home for supper.

Catches. Fraser Hyland-1, Gilbert-1, Davidson-1. Fielding moment, Davidson bagging Rahul.

Guinness 5 Caley 8 Hyland 23 Gaunt 15 Leader 80 Husemeyer 3 Tedbury D. 11 Gilbert 1 Chandler 11 Hyland F. 0 Davidson 10 no Tedbury M. 3 no.
Chandler 7-1-10-1 Davidson 4-1-20-0 Gilbert 4-0-20-1 D.Tedbury 4-1-5-0 F.Hyland 8-0-44-1 Leader 4-0-22-0 Gaunt 4-0-17-1 M.Tedbury 4-0-20-1

Oasby v Seas End Hall, July 6th 2011, Oasby did not win by 25 runs. SEH 140 for 7, Oasby 105 for 4. 20 over match

Moulton Seas End was cold and gloomy. Oasby were depleted in number, they borrowed two teenagers and several Jimmys. He kept up a happy conversation throughout and greatly added to the cheeriness.
SEH batted first and set off at high speed. Oasby's bowlers found edges but no catchers. The borrowed Luke who bowled with vim and gusto and got wickets; including Guinness' most nonchalent one-handed catch ever. Gilbert bowled with aggression - his bouncer however being carted for four. Tedbury bowled amazingly. Amazingly badly for 1 over - which brought the first of his wickets off a lovely long hop and then much better to allow Guinness to demonstrate his stumping skills. And one of the Jimmys to demonstrate his running out skills. Did I mention it was cold? Oh and dark, too. It was warmer in Yorkshire.

Oasby batted without a care. They did not care about the run rate. Caley has patented his new calling sytem - "YES!" (I have hit the ball) then "NO!" (I cannot run). Guinness perished attempting to raise the run rate which brought to the wicket Ben Tavare Boycott who scored a splendid series of ones and twos. He was only copying our beloved captain. Gilbert surprised himself by scoring a four then was relieved of his misery by umpire Guinness adjudging him lbw. Then Enever displayed the aggression and skill that had so far been missing - some fearsome shots from "The Beast" including the shot of the day - a six into the open pavilion door. But too late; Oasby ran out of overs. I might just mention here that it was cold. But no longer dark. The clouds had departed, the sun came out, said "sod it" and set.

Oasby went to the pub - The Ship at Fosdyke - Bateman's and Adnam's - both received praise and a score of 8.5/10.

Statistics are not available for this match as 1) There were too few Oasby players present, 2) some were in a bit of a sulk and 3) it was cold.

Oasby v Scopwick, July 10th 2011 Oasby won by 4 wickets. Scopwick 103 for 7 off 30 overs, Oasby 104 for 3 off 18 overs

Oasby arrived at RAF Digby early, Raspberries ablaze with forecasts of rain and doom. But what did they find? A cricket pitch smothered in youths. Jon's eyes lit up. But the youths were not for him to bowl at, they were there to delay the start by one hour as "The opposition" has misarranged the day. We waited while sundry youths displayed very little cricketing abilty. Husemeyer and Guinness tried to frighten them with flesh. It did not work so it was not til 3pm that Oasby set about heir task of demolishing the opposition. Which they did. Variation from Chandler caused leaking runs, but not many; Davidson showed what practice can achieve, and both took wickets. The wind was cruel , frequently taking the ball to leg and bruised Guinness' foot. Gilbert again demontrated fingers of butter but bowled with guile and surprise. Mostly his own. Hyland astounded us by leaping high in the air to take a catch with both feet firmly planted on terra firma. Helliwell senior also struggled with the wind but took two wickets while Helliwell junior - from Yorkshire, where they play real cricket - took a wicket with his first ball. Tedbury's contribution was modest. But memorable. Fielding moment of the day was Hyland's diving save to a well struck ball square of the wicket followed by a diving miss to a less well struck ball square of the wicket. The earth is still trembling. Drop of the day was Gilbert completing the catch well before the ball arrived following a splendid dive. The last 10 overs were very slow. Very little happened. This was because of Oasby's excellent bowling. Honest.

Tea was delayed til after the match ( is nothing sacrosanct? - though they were lovely chips).

Oasby batted with abandon. Caley - 3 balls - 4,4 out. Guinness, survived early lbw appeals only to depart later given not out by the umpire but misunderstanding and leaving anyway. Review by the ICC reveals that the Umpire was an idiot. He should have recalled the batsman. He will no longer be allowed to umpire premier matches.Gilbert got off the mark with a careful edge to third man and Gaunt diplayed intent - mostly intent to break the Big Kahuna but sometimes intent to hit a six. He was offered the luxury of being dropped while shouting imprecations to the sky. Gilbert occasionally used the white bit (middle) of his cricket bat. The bat is surprised. It would like more oil and knocking, though household members may not agree. Oasby cruised to victory and celebrated accordingly. Is there no stopping them? Probably.

Beer at the pub ( Royal Oak) 8/10, Black Sheep, Bombadier and another one that ran out. All fine but they kept changing. Chips 9/10 -excellent. Sausage in bun - good; but no cake - where was the cake?

Guinness 22 ret puzzled, Caley 8, Hyland 0, Gilbert 26 n.o., Gaunt 26 n.o
Chandler 6-0-22-1; Davidson 6-0-10-1, Gilbert 5-2-6-2, J Helliwell 5-1-11-2, W Helliwell 4-0-23-1, Tedbury 4-1-7-0
Catches - Gilbert - 1; Hyland -1. Fielding moment - Hyland's dive(s)

Oasby v Scopwick 19th June 2011. Oasby won by 10 overs with 3 wickets in hand. Scopwick 142 all out. Oasby 143 for 7 off 30 overs.

Oasby took to the field with Chandler and Leader in miserly mood. Wickets failed to tumble, but the score only crawled, despite a swing bowling showcase from Leader. First change brought the strike bowlers to the crease with Gilbert and Helliwell J. getting deserved reward. A sharp slip catch saw Gilbert's reputation restored in the field, whilst Gaunt's plumbed new depths.
Depleted of their medical contingent, Oasby relied on youth. William Helliwell, Fergus Miles and Dave Reeves all debuted and brought the average age tumbling. Ropsley Primary School was well represented. With his first ball, Fergus bowled the batsman and Tedbury was forgotten. Helliwell W. bowling on a full size pitch for the first time, coped admirably and did himself credit. Amongst it all, Gaunt, hands still sore, bowled a spell of venom.

Tea was a treat and all agreed that Sharon is a master chef.

Guinness looked lost without his regular opening partner. So surprised that a run was called for, Guinness was flummoxed and departed run out and bewildered. Booth departed soon after, out by bad karma. Leader flashed at his first ball, snicked it and was dropped. 84 runs later he did the same and was caught. In the mean time, reverse sweeps, cuts and drives peppered the boundary. Partners came and went, all playing their part, Helliwell J. and Chandler in particular keeping the board turning.
It was left to Helliwell W. to steer the ship to victory. Never before has a Primary School pupil scored the winning runs for the Baboon army. Well done all.
We retired to see our smiling club house manager. A flowery summer ale was ordered, attaining a 'Chandler quality index of 7'. Happy Days.

Chandler 6-2-10-1 Leader 8-2-27-1 Gilbert 8-0-17-3 Helliwell J 5-0-30-1 Gaunt 4-1-10-0 Miles 6-0-24-1 Helliwell W 3-0-15-0
Guinness 5 Booth 4 Leader 84 Gaunt 5 Reeves 6 Helliwell J 11 Chandler 17 Helliwell W 1 not out Gilbert 0 not out.
Catches Gilbert 1 Leader 1.

Oasby v Great Ponton 5th June 2011. Oasby won by 4 wickets. Great Ponton 148 all out. Oasby 149 for 6 off 27 overs.

The scene was set for a gladiatorial encounter on the green sward of Ropsley. Sky lark's song accompanied Caley's call of heads, to see the Baboons take to the field for a bowl. Chandler and debutant Leader opened the attack to resounding satisfaction from all, especially Gaunt who was delighted to be relieved of his bowling duties. Leader bowled with panache, accuracy and guile. Jaffa followed jaffa with no reward. Chandler trapped a victim leg before. First change saw another new boy to the bowling attack. Helliwell bombarding the Ponton batters with enthusiastic abandon and had his reward with a comprehensive clatter of stumps and bails. Gilbert followed suit. Tedbury was mightily unlucky. Gilbert was not at his best in the field. Two chances were shelled, personal injury was sustained and Gilbert was dispatched to the naughty corner to think about what a bad boy he had been and nurse his bruises. Leader's second spell brought more deserved reward for his efforts. Tedbury produced some unique fielding, even by his standards. Why he pirouetted four times and still couldn't find a ball that was three feet in front or indeed behind him, depending on his orientation at that time, shall remain a mystery to all. Hyland however showed agility that even he didn't realise he still possessed. Madam Cricket is a cruel mistress. As is gravity. Hyland hit the deck with a sickening thud and the ball brushed his fingers on the way to the ropes. Harsh.
Ponton were all out for 148.
Tea was a triumph. Pork products, smoked trout sarnies, chicken and quiche got a resounding thumbs up. It was also heartening to see many of our friends and family supporting us and joining us for the afternoon, before hypothermia saw off the last of the blue lipped spectators.
In customary fashion, Dick ducked, whilst Guinness tried but failed to be caught out. Hyland smited a wonderful one, bringing to the wicket the Gaunt. He eyed the bowling with disdain. He launched so hard at one ball that he followed through powerfully and hit himself on the head with his bat. Other balls weren't so lucky. Husemeyer supported well to allow Helliwell to record a maximum six. During all this time Guinness quietly continued. It was left to Leader and Booth to steer the ship home with some classic stroke play from both.
A four wicket win was recorded. We reconvened to the club house to be greeted by our smiling landlord. All tastes were catered for. The old men drank weak, pale summer ales. The proper men drank dark, real beer and Bill drank Guinness. Craig's cellar proved a hit, attaining a 'Tedbury quality index' of 9. We like our new club house.
Gilbert was relieved that catches hadn't 'lost' matches!

Chandler 8-0-25-3 Leader 8-2-14-2 Gilbert 6-1-19-3 Helliwell 6-0-41-1 Tedbury 6-0-36-1.
Guinness 32 Caley 0 Hyland 1 Gaunt 34 Husemeyer 2 Helliwell 15 Leader 28 no Booth 7 no.
Catches Leader 3 Gaunt 1 Gilbert 1 Helliwell J 1

Oasby v Spalding at Spalding 24th April 2011. Oasby won by 10 runs. Oasby 149 for 9 after 40 overs; Spalding 139 for 6 after 40 overs

The new season started with disappointment. For Gaunt, abandoned at The Green Man. For Tedbury abandoned at The Fortescue. For batsmen whose net form had been so brilliant and for Spalding who lent Oasby a batsman of considerable skill who contributed handsomely to the Oasby total.
Oasby batted first and held their breath. Was their beloved captain going to follow on with the same disastrous form as last year? No, that would be Guinness giving catching practice to a 13 year old. Caley's new bat inspired some streaky fours off the edge and some well timed strokes to the boundary. Hyland briefly bustled then Gaunt arrived with the new bigger better Big Kahuna. Sadly Gaunt thought he was playing golf but ball kept moving away from his bat. Two convincing shots were spotted then a convincing ball zipped under, round and past his bat to flatten the stumps. Husemeyer laboured (there's a sort of pun there) for what seemed like hours and was disappointed with ten runs while Gilbert forgot that even in friendly cricket you can be out lbw if you move back and stand two legs square in front of the stumps. So we still don't know if his bat is any good or not. He didn't use it. Newbie Booth was defeated by Gaunt's destroyer - first ball - "the only way is up"; while Chandler - displaying that shot - again and again - and one on the off side as well - suggested that last year's good form with the bat may not have been a fluke. Ed the duck did not duck but did not last long leaving Tedbury to serenely do nothing while Spalding's Lee scored 16 at the other end. But how valuable were those 16 to be!

Tea was an improvement on last year and Oasby started the task of defending a total with hope in their hearts.

Chandler has become meaner than ever and achieved an early breakthrough followed by Oasby's own Angus Fraser grumpily taking two splendid wickets in his first spell. "I don't like bowling" he grumped as he trudged back to his mark. Gaunt and Chandler's first spell was exceedingly mean, followed by more of the same from Gilbert and Tedbury - except theirs was achieved through guile and cunning and Gilbert was rewarded. It was said by some that he was turning it square. This cannot be confirmed. Davidson - fresh from scientific education in Bath - has clearly been using his time wisely - practising cricket - his bowling was much improved on last year and, while wicketless was satisfactorily mean - not up to Chandler standard but mean. Chandler's second spell simply carried on where he left off. More meanness, another wicket. The same cannot be said of Gaunt's second spell. Apparently too much golf gives you a sore shoulder rendering the bowling "hittable". One over was enough. The shoulder not too sore to achieve a splendid two bounce direct hit run out from the boundary - now that's a useful sore shoulder! It also meant we were treated to the spectacle of Captain Caley's off spin. Or was it leg spin? Not sure but it was good enough (with Davidson) to prevent Spalding scoring 26 off the last two overs. Victory and joy all round.

Sadly things then went a bit wrong: pub The Fenway - beer 1/10 (it existed); The Fortescue 9/10 (only one tester but his opinion counts).

Man of the match Chandler 34 runs and 2-14. Fielding moment - Gaunts direct hit run out. Dropped catches - 0. Actual catches - 1 (Guinness)

Batting: Guinness 0, Caley 29, Hyland 4, Gaunt 14, Husemeyer 10, Gilbert 0, Booth 0 (golden), Chandler 34, Davidson 1, Tedbury 1 n.o., Lee 36 n.o.
Bowling: Chandler 8-1-14-2, Gaunt 6-1-26-2, Gilbert 8-1-19-1, Tedbury 9-0-34-0, Davidson 7-1-22-0; Caley 2-0-18-0

Oasby Cricket 2010

Oasbycricketclub — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 14:12:52 CDT

There were many games played by the (nearly) all-conquering Oasby in summer 2010, averages and reports appear below. As can be seen, the personel fluctuates but is characterised by two features: brilliant at cricket and GSOH. There is no spiteful teasing and the triumphs of individuals celebrated at length. With beer.

BOWLING: (Overs- maidens-runs-wickets; Strike rate (per ball); average (per wicket)

Gilbert 58-5-250-26; 13.38; 9.615
Tedbury 43.4-8-163-21; 12.48; 7.76
Young H 64-10-329-16; 24; 20.56
Chandler 70.3-9-243-15; 28.2; 16.2
Gaunt 19.5-3-86-5; 23.8; 17.2
Caley 6-0-37-3; 12; 12.33
Davidson 23.4-0-128-2; 71; 64
Finnis 15-0-62-1; 90; 62
Also bowled D Tedbury 4-1-5-5; F Hyland 7-0-48-3; S Young 7-2-35-0; J Nix 4-0-11-0

BATTING (INNINGS; COMPLETED INNINGS; RUNS; AVERAGE)

Gaunt 6;6; 279; 46.5
Young 11;10; 175; 17.5
Guinness 9;8; 178; 22.25
Chandler 9;7; 128; 18.3
Gilbert 9;8; 83; 10.2
Husemeyer 9;9; 73; 8.1
Caley 9;8; 55; 6.87
Baker 8;6; 54; 9
Rieder 7;7; 37; 5.3
Finnis 3;2; 34; 17
Tedbury 9;4; 28; 5.6
Hyland 5;5; 21; 4.2
Hall 2;2; 13; 6.5
Nix 4;4; 11; 2.7
Clamp 2;1 10; 10
Davidson 4;4; 2; 0.5
Heaver 2;2 1; 0.5
Also batted Brown 9, Enever 34 runs, Tedbury, D 71n.o.

The James Rieder Memorial Game, September 12th 2010, Oasby won by 4 wickets. Great Ponton 43 all out, Oasby 45-6 off 17 overs

We may never see him again,so we've memorialised him in a game. May his training to serve Her Majesty be more successful than his risible wicket-keeping.

Oasby arrived at Great Ponton to find a lush field of green on which had been painted the outline of a cricket pitch. The two captains confered for so long no-one can remeber who won the toss but Oasby fielded first and were happy. Chandler trundled in with metronomic accuracy; Young tested the middle of the pitch and found it spongy. A wicket each. Time for the Gilbert/Tedbury partnership: more wickets, more guile but the occasional "other one" resulting in 4 or 6. Splendid fielding by Hall ran out their potential star and this year's flying panther from Gilbert dismissed another. Gilbert was joyful - he had enough wickets to win the bowling award. Tedbury was joyful - he had more wickets - as promised earlier to the captain. In a further attempt to avoid bowling Gaunt offered to keep wicket - 2 stumpings and a catch were his - but NO! wait , call back the batsman, for one stumping he forgot the ball. Oops! One stumping and a catch. And with the aid of his balerina training near-perfect prevention of byes.

Tea was consumed at a leisurely pace with Oasby sure they would rattle off the runs in no time. Unfortunately Captain Caley had spent more time in the sun and sent Nix and Tedbury in to open. Tedbury had previously been heard pleading for more overs - clearly Captain C misunderstood. So off they rattled at a splendid pace with runs flowing in all directions. Perhaps, and maybe. Neither Nix nor Tedbury prospered, Rieder occupied the crease for hours for 1 run, Hall (returned to the fold from his trip to the south) smote fours, Hyland omitted to hit a straight one, then an angry looking Young and a serene Caley displayed their skills. Victory was assured and negotiations occured for a 10 over thrash, one over per bowler.

[The 10 over thrash: (records for this are incomplete and do NOT count towards the yearly statistics) Caley continued in serene form - refusing to hit long hops and gracefully ignoring leg side balls. Carried his bat. Young continued in muscular fashion and Gilbert still wonders where the centre of his bat is. "Get a new one!" Came the cry. Or "the old one was better, even if it was a kiddies bat!" Gaunt struck some elegant 4's and a 6 and Husemeyer enriched the fines kitty. 74-4 off 10 overs. Bowling was difficult for all. Fielding showed signs of tiredness - Tedbury dropped an easy catch to teach Rieder how to respond to disappointment, Nix allowed an easy run, fumbling the ball, to teach Young how to control his temper - but Nix's his mind was on more important matters in London and Great Ponton snuck home in 9.3 overs. Well done to them. We look forward to next year.]

Chandler 4.3-2-2-1, Young 4-1-4-1, Tedbury 5-1-13-4, Gilbert 5-0-19-3
Tedbury 2, Nix 2, Rieder 1, Hall 13, Chandler 1, Hyland 0, Young 6 n.o., Caley 10 n.o.

Beer: Fox and Hounds Old Somerby once known as "a pleasant country pub" (Good Beer Guide 1980) now known as a "soulless formula pub" (M Tedbury 2010) Abbott 9/10, IPA 7/10, chairs plentiful and comfortable. Oh well. (There's a song in there somwewhere.) (Ask Mr Fleet, Wood or Mac)

Wickets for the season Gilbert 26, Tedbury 21, Young 16, Chandler 15. Subject to ICC scrutiny and pending appeal. More statistics to follow. See photos and learn.

OASBY V ASHBY CARINGTON SATURDAY 28TH AUGUST 2010; OASBY LOST BY 79 RUNS. OASBY 64 ALL OUT. ASHBY 143 FOR 6.

Tedbury arrived with a face like thunder. The small vein in his temple throbbed in time with his mutterings of 'bloody mother' and 'cocking sat nav.' The Beards blood was up, and that means one thing. Wickets were going to tumble. Aware of this, Caley chose to bowl and then realised he had forgotten his kit, favourite jock strap and all. Borrowed kit was assembled for Caley. Gaunt arrived just before start, but Husemeyer was still nowhere to be seen. Later revelations would show that Roy was up to his neck in it, and knowing Roy's profession that brought some lurid and quite disturbing thoughts to the more imaginative amongst our number. Roy duly arrived, showered and took to the field to a standing ovation.

Chandler opened the bowling, running in like a man with his braces caught in the sightscreen. Tidy line and length, metronomic regularity. Henry dropped a dolly. Young, Gilbert and Gaunt all followed Jon's example but ran in better. John Nix and Sam Young showed real class. Ashby's total was kept low. Then the Beard was summoned by Caley 0. A hush settled over the ground. Tedbury threw down a hand grenade of tweak. Bamboozled. Nix, handed the gloves as a late substitute, struck like lightening. Stumped. Gilbert heroicly saved a four but was adjudged, harshly, to have spilled a catch. More guile from Tedbury brought more excitement and wickets for Beardy.

Tea saw Oasby happy to have kept the home side to such a modest total. Pork pie, sausages rolls, cakes and Tetleys.

And so to batting. Caley, obviously working in a spread betting criminal gang, ducked again. For the fourth time this season Dick was out on the 13th ball of Oasby's inning for 0. Coincidence we think not! But who is Caley working with. Yes, Husemeyer. Mercedes SLK, always buys a round, expensive cologne. The ECB have been informed.

Husmeyer faired no better. Only Gaunt and Young H. looked up to the task, as Oasby capitulated for 64 all out off 19 overs.

The Carington was open and Drinks were purchased. Chandler got a round in to apologise for being as mobile as a library and dropping one of Gilbert's chances. XB was deemed good. 8/10. Bass 9/10 as was Abbot. Kev Baker's Pepsi with ice in a ladies glass was average. 5/10.

Chandler 8-0-26-1. Young.S 7-0-19-1. Young H 7-2-35-0. Gilbert 7-0-23-0. Gaunt 4-1-13-0 Nix J 4-0-11-0. Tedbury 3-1-10-3.

Caley 0. Husemeyer 0. Gaunt 17. Gilbert 1. Young H 14. Nix J 4. Baker 0. Chandler 5. Young S 1. Nix C 0. Tedbury 3 no.

Bowling to date. Gilbert 23, Tedbury 17, Young 15, Chandler 14 Wickets.

Oasby v. Nelson's Ashes Sunday 23rd August 2010 Oasby won by 191 runs. Oasby 252 for 9; Nelson's Ashes 61 all out.

Sun, glorious sun, Captain Caley won the toss and elected to bat. Unhappily he did not. Bat that is. Spooned a catch to Monty he did - an enriched plutonium double diamond duck. Risible. Husemeyer briefly sparkled but Guinness was also feeling lazy and did not trouble the scorer. So Gaunt and Young came bickering to the crease. Young nervously swiping at everythting, Gaunt caressing the ball for 4s and six. "I'll kill him" said Gaunt. "I've hit more sixes" said Young, til he was ordered to depart lbw. Gaunt forced to retire on 50 (or was it 49?) for fags, food and rest. Baker could not lay bat on ball. But Chandler could. Such class we have never seen, straight dirves, on drives, cover drives. All for four or six. Chandler was also forced back to the pavilion for rest and pork products. Rieder, almost decapitated by Chandler, struck out but left to give Davo the duck another chance. He took it with aplomb, 2 runs indeed, celebrated too soon and was out. We blame the helmet. So back came Gaunt to partner Tedbury in a partnership of frightening contrast. Sixes flowed from Gaunt - singles from the beard. The beard hit out - another single. Gaunt chose a new way to make a small boy happy to let Chandler come and have a final fling and that was it: 252 for 9 off 35 overs. Was it enough?

All would be clear after barbeque for tea. A most pleasurable feast which left Gaunt unable to move. He refused to bowl and declared that he was not moving from the slips. Caley stamped his authority on the game and pronounced "Oh alright then".

Were Oasby's bowlers up to the task? First ball struck for six (note contrast with the baboons' start). However the Ashes' innings went downhill from there. Catches pouched with nonchalance and ease by Tedbury, Gilbert and Young (slightly marred by by the KY'd fingers of Husemeyer). Wickets crashed back by Gilbert and Davidson. LBW claimed by and given to Young ("it was out, honest , it was"). The figures are there for all to admire. It was an all round performance of excellence. Was this because the baboons resisted the evils of the demon drink? Why did the devil tempt them with drinks at tea-time? We don't know, but don't ask Chandler - he won't stop talking and most of the words will be "four"; but some will be "Bombadier". And don't ask Young, he's busy shaving his legs. And how large will the heads be next game? When will Caley have his innings of Cook? How much beer is in the fines kitty? Where's Guinness?

Beer: London Pride - 8/10 (better in Chiswick); Bombadier 0/10 (none for most of us, JC had drunk it all)

PPPPPPPPS Does Reeder kno hough to spel his nayme. Eye Doant.

Caley 0, Guinness 0, Husemeyer 6, Gaunt 107, Gilbert 1, Young 39, Baker 0, Chandler 56 n.o., Rieder 14, Davidson 2, Tedbury 8 n.o.
J Chandler 4-0-22-2, H Young 4-1-6-2, D Gilbert 3-0-26-4, E Davidson 2-0-13-1, M Tedbury 0.5-0-0-1

Oasby v HAM; Saturday 7th August 2010; Oasby lost by 105 runs. HAM 167 all out. Oasby 62 all out.

The Baboon army took to the field and had the Hammers reeling from the start. The opening attack of Chandler and Young were ****-a-hoop at the brilliance of their team mates catching. Husemeyer bagged a jaffa with a parry to take the pace off the ball and a nonchalant clasp to see the opener depart. Tedbury wavered under a steepler.He staggered left, lurched right, stumbled and finally had to get his spinning hand up to protect his face. To the amazement of all, the ball stuck. Joy was unconfined and Tedbury had to leave the field to clean himself up and change his under pants. Gilbert had less help from his fielders. Three catches spilled, most noticeably by Chris Nix. The ball came to him, and such was his joy at this chance to impress he gave a little jump of joy before the ball was pouched. Nixy had come too soon. Let us hope his hot date that night would not end prematurely. Rieder dropped a sitter, four pork pies, two sandwiches, an apple, two cups of tea and a bomb shell. "I resign from wicket keeping for ever." This brought orgasmic joy to captain Caley and may have inadvertentlycaused him to drop a catch off Gilbert, who took it all with uncharacteristic good humour. With new bowlers came better catching with Tedders and Caley, turning the ball square, sending the rabbits back to the hutch for tea.

Tea was adequate and Rieder continued to drop things.

Husemeyer and Caley started solidly and continued. Hussey top scoring and showing patience in the face of hostility. Caley departed for Nix, who strode to the wicket with the gait of a man with an erection, and played with the concentration of a man with an erection. He departed with his swollen member to his date in London. From then on batsmen got a start and then got out. Until Davidson. Davidson doesn't get a start, ever. This was Davo's third duck on the spin. Even Chandler in his heyday has never surpassed this amazing record. Davo has not scored a run yet for the mighty Baboons. Oasby failed to get the total by 105 runs. Not one of our closer games. Still, every cloud has a silver lining. Guinness is keeping wicket next week and we are looking into a sponsorship deal with a performance artist from Long Bennington. See Photo.

Chandler 8-2-26-2.Young 8-0-26-3.Davidson 5-0-40-0.Gilbert 8-0-17-1.Tedbury 5-0-23-2.Caley 4-0-19-2.

Caley 7. Husemeyer 18. Nix 4. Hyland 2. Gilbert 7.Young 4. Rieder 3. Chandler 4. Davidson 0. Courtney 1. Tedbury 5 n.o.

Oasby v Nelson's Ashes; Sunday 1st August 2010; Oasby won by 25 runs. Oasby 151-5 off 35 overs, Nelson's Ashes 126 all out off 32 overs

No cockerels this week, several ducks though and some several supporters excitedly cheering Oasby on.
At 2 o'clock prompt, but 15 minutes later the game started, an epic indeed involving a lot of butter and much cheery banter. Oasby batted first; Caley, determined to prove his worth, lasted 3 balls before guiding a catch to wicket keeper and/or slip, eventually walking as the umpire was deaf. Nelson declined further offfers of catching to the tune of seven times. Woe was them, especially Chris Chandler. Guinness and Husemeyer ground Oasby's way to respectability with little excitement save for Nelson's dropsy. Eventually Husemeyer tried to up the pace only to find his bails missing. Hyland only briefly flourished and so "Mr Dangerous" strode to the wicket. Sage advice was given to Young who, on this occasion, did not take it. He displayed aggression - but too soon and was bowled. Then Baker and Gilbert showed us all how to do it with Baker taking the senior role; Gilbert happy to grind his way back to form with a series of aggressively run singles. Baker got very hot.

Tea: SPLENDID I! Caleys and Husemeyers should be congratulated on a feast the Brickies would simply not recognise.

To bowling: Chandler's first over showed how to do it - 5 outside off, played and missed - one on the stumps - bowled, and Nelson's potential century scorer back in the hutch (is that where you keep ducks?). Young displayed maturity and aggression; obeying his captain's instructions the field was expertly set and a two wicket maiden was the result. All were pleased with this performance. Then came Gilbert. Special conditions prevailed during his spell: mostly the aliens caused his deliveries to pitch short on leg side. Sixes and fours flowed. Heads were bowed, prayers offered and the aliens retreated. Another double wicket maiden! Followed by proper bowling. Davidson also performed well, save for the dropped caught and bowled; however eventually his mantra "I will get a wicket, I will get a wicket" came true but then he got a twinge and retired hurt. The innings was wrapped up by a Caley/Guinness stumping triumph and a splendid run out, involving Gilbert. Not Reider. Despite much practice.
Mention must be made of Oasby's buttery fingers - 5 dropped catches bodes well for the fines kitty (Nelson's was much bigger) but is not up to the standard expected by Reider (senior).

Beer - Green Man - (?) Oldershaws - cloudy but good flavour, barman smiled once; 8/10

Caley 0, Guinness 38, Husemeyer 10, Hyland 7, Gilbert 28 n.o., Young 6, Baker 31 n.o.; the rest not required
Chandler 7-2-16-3, Young 7-1-26-2, Gilbert 7-1-42-2, Davidson 6.4(injured)-0-1-24, Caley 2-0-8-1, Tedbury 2-0-7-0

Oasby v Seas End Hall. Oasby lost by 85 runs. SEH 140. Oasby 55 all out.

Oasby started well. Bowled Chandler, caught Gilbert, in the first over. Things then went boobies skyward. Bar some close LBW shouts, SEH played with skill and adroit ferocity. Baboons fielded well, although Tedbury unashamedly pulled out of a catch, claiming that he needs his hands for his work.As Tedbury takes professional pride in never touching a customer, this caused much mirth. Sixes and fours abounded until Tedbury bamboozled the batsmen with deliveries they had never seen before. It was slow, oh so slow, and why didn't it turn? It must be a trick they thought. The fools. Tedbury didn't pull out of a catch off his own bowling! Two wickets were bagged by Dr. Spin.

The boy Young, post tantrum, also got the reward of wickets. Chris shone in the field. Our supporter was supportive.

Lots were drawn for batting slots. It did not go well. Guinness was the best bat by a country mile. The remainder is best left unsaid! The fines kitty prospered.

The Ship A17. Adnams bitter. 9/10. Eye candy 9/10. Practical jokes on Ed. 10/10.

Chandler 4-0-1-27Gilbert 4-0-0-29 Tedbury 4-0-2-21 Young 4-0- 2-39 Davidson 4-0-0-21.

Young 0. Baker 0. Chandler 5. Guinness 16. Davidson 0. Gilbert 2. Husemeyer 4. Caley 2. Nix 5. Rieder 5. Tedbury 4 no.

Oasby v The Bricklayers Arms, Putney, at Wimbledon, Sunday 25th July. Oasby lost by 69 runs. Brickies all out 186, Oasby 117 all out.

The **** crowed and Oasby were off - sponsored by The Lighthouse and MacDonalds - to London to meet the Bricklayers Arms and their barbarian hordes.Oasby arrived early, and , as is their wont , went into an intensive training regime. It may have taken it's toll as later in the day Oasby ran out of mental and physical steam. Though their beer-consuming abilities did not diminish.

Oasby fielded first and felt good when the brickies reached 87-7. Steepling balls were plucked from the air (Tedbury), flying panther catches were taken (Baker), leg spin better than Warney bowled Rich round his legs, Caley junior dismissed with risible ease, Young taking wickets at will (and pitching some of his deliveries near the stumps), an lbw appeal allowed. All was rosy, the sun shone. Tedbury and Gilbert bowling in tandem, the shop shut. But no! Caley senior had been in the sun too long. Tedbury, having bowled a maiden, was withdrawn. Young returned. Davidson showed promise. Raul of India was at the the wicket and given batting practice. Tedbury returned - his rhythm interupted he disintegrated under a withering onslaught of shots, including two reverse sweeps. The humiliation! Further batsmen fell to Chandler and Gilbert (who did not know he had ANOTHER five-fer) til Tedbury got his revenge. Searing pace was the undoing of wildly swinging Raul who at last departed for 72 clean bowled. They had added 99 for the last 3 wickets.

Tea. What can we say without sounding ungrateful. It was not up to the standard of Mssrs Caley (senior), Gilbert or Young (or their respective significant others) (see what I did there - much harder when you can't say "wife"). Moving on.

Oasby batting was not glorious. Further evidence for the "excess sun rots Caley brains" theory was provided by his achieving a double diamond gold plated platinum duck; it contained a personal best for Kev Baker - well done; it contained a new first - batsman (Guinness) recalled as not out by the opposition as they disagreed with Oasby's umpire who had given him out. Umpire Davidson to attend umpiring school. The same one previously attended by Tedbury, Caley and Husemeyer. It contained a blatantly out Young - Tedbury's eyes unable to see that the ball had struck him on the foot plumb in front ( he thought it was an Ancaster divot sending the ball in the air). Young profitted for a while, Chandler clumped for a while (then bowled by a grubber) Clamp a glorious not out; basically Oasby were overcome by the duo of Raul and Syeed. They tried to profit from the lesser bowling at the end but by then had lost almost all will to live save for beer.

So pubs were visited (and here the oppostion WERE generous): the basket of flowers (Leather Bottle) serving excellent Youngs and Speckled Hen - 9/10. The Bricklayers Arms serving excellent Taylors not to everyone's taste,; but then some of Gibert's opinions are ludicrous and risible. 9/10. Then the schoolmaster ushered his charges back on the bus, more prayers, toiletstops and MacDonalds and Oasby were home. To reak revenge next year. (And can Rich play for us then please?)

Man of the match : Baker.
Thanks are due to the Lighthouse Church (loan of minibus) MacDonald's (existing), and the LDV minibus (not dying).

Chandler 7-0-28-1; Young 7-0-41-3; Gilbert 7-0-35-5; Davidson 6-0-30-0; Tedbury 6.5-1-41-1

Caley 0, Guiness 16, Husemeyer 4, Gilbert 6, Young 17, Reider 5, Davidson 0, Baker 19, Chandler 14, Tedbury 3, Clamp 8 n.o.

Use the link below to see the opposition's version of events.

The Brickie's Report

Third Test. Oasby v Scopwick at Ancaster,Sunday 4th July 2010. Oasby won by 40 runs. Oasby 100 all out off 28 overs. Scopwick 60 allout off 20 overs.

Guinness and Husemeyer were asked to bat on the deadly wicket of Ancaster. Guinness did not, but Husemeyer did, with a fair bit of help from Scopwick. Lucky days come and go, but as lucky days go, this was a good one for the fanny mechanic. To be dropped once is simple good fortune, but Roy was 'put down' on five occasions, four by the same hapless individual. Scopwick would never get his wicket! A terrific partnership with Gaunt saw the pair pile on the runs and get the teams top scores. To cries of 'he's only got one shot!' Gaunt put another ball into the undergrowth. It is true he only has one shot. The one that sends the cherry to the ropes and the bowlers head down. After the departure of Gaunt the innings did not go well. Gilbert, Baker, Hall, Reider, Heaver and Tedbury all departed for 3 runs added. Hall not only failed to trouble the scorers but also ran out Husemeyer in the process. Gilbert ducked and Baker got a golden. Bring on Captain Henry. With what had gone before this looked like a batting master class, not the usual bang, crash, wallop that Henry delivers. We limped to a miserly 100.

Tea was splendid. Dr Cricket sat on his own, shunned by his own, as he was by ours. ****.

Gilbert was not going to bowl into the wind. Nor was Gaunt. However, as Gilbert had snaffled the match ball from umpires coat during lunch and already marked his run, Gaunt would have had to prise it from Gilberts cold dead fingers. Wickets began to fall. Gaunt tried the wind but did not like it. Young tried it and the batters liked it. Tedbury tried it and Tedbury liked it! Wickets fell.

Dr. Cricket fell to Dr. Spin. Never has the true poetic justice of a dismissal been so timely. ****.

Wickets fell.

Umpires raised the finger of doom when batters delayed.

Wickets fell.

Could Oasby pull off a dramatic win and defend 100 miserly runs? Guinness pulled off a tremendous catch to see Scopwick's last hopes fade.Gaunt eventually got the windward end and skittled the last rabbit.

Beer. Mowbrays Mash. 6.5/10 Fair. Gilbert bought a round. See below.

Triumph and the series to Oasby.

Guinness 2.Husemeyer 20.Gaunt 43.Gilbert 0.Baker 0.Hall 0.Young 21.Reider 0.Heaver 2. Baker 0 no. Tedbury 1

Gilbert 10-4-9-7.Gaunt 1.5-0-9-1. Young 2-0-21-0. Tedbury 7-2-21-2.

Oasby v Scopwick, at Digby, Sunday 13th June 2010. Oasby lost by 5 wickets. Oasby 146 all out off 27 overs. Scopwick 147 for 6 off 29 overs.

Guinness 6.Caley 1 & 0.Gaunt 62. Hyland 8. Young 32. Brown 9. Baker 3. F.Hyland 3. Ben 0.

Chandler 10-0-38-1.F.Hyland 7-0-48-3.Young 5-0-39-2. Gaunt 8-0-41- 0

Oasby v Ancaster, at Ancaster, Sunday 30th May 2010. Oasby lost by 50 runs. Ancaster 160 for 6 off 40 overs. Oasby 110 for 9. And frozen.

The day did not dawn auspiciously. There was frost on the ground and the wind was chill. The ground at Ancaster needed care and attention. It got it - for literally seconds. When the groundsman had finished his devilish work there remained a thin covering of spongy moss. It was pronounced "green". Oasby inspected it and thought "hmmmmmm". No matter, they lost the toss and were invited to field. The sun shone down but the wind did blow.
It started well with Chandler on the money and Young hitting a good length. Ancaster's young finest struggled, especially against Gaunt though Finnis also looked certain to be among the wickets. By the time the deadly duo of Tedbury and Gilbert were bowling a small Ancaster total seemed likely. Then Oasby made a mistake, they let Reider stump an Ancaster youth and adults arrived at the wicket. Tedbury was withdrawn. He sulked. His fielding was inattentive, Clamp's catching was risible (the fines bucket is much in profit). Young returned and found the middle of the wicket; sixes and fours occured. Multiple lbw appeals were denied to Gaunt. He sulked too. Would Guinness' swing be called upon? No! What had happened to the captain? He was at tea, enjoying processed pork products and sharing the belief that this was a target well within Oasby's reach.
It was not. A freezing wind, a black cloud and rain happened. The teams stayed on while it rained then withdrew when it stopped. The croud yelled insults. They started again. After 6 hours they had scored 50 runs. Guinness was slow. Gilbert was still negotiating rice pudding - finally hit the skin straight to a fieder. Out! Gaunt caused optimism but was adjudged lbw by the very same umpire who denied him many appeals as bowler. He sulked some more. Beer softened the blow. Then - nothing. Spectators left in droves. Sheepskin coats were called for. This reporter fell asleep. Some attempts at forcing the pace from Reider and a procesion of batmen to the wicket and back. Guinness was still there. Does his bat have a middle? Baker knocked his bat in. This was not interesting either. Nor was his innings. Clamp did not bat. Or buy a car. No laughs there.

Beer at the social club apparently not poisonous, at the Houblon expensive but tasty White Squall - as befitted the day: 9/10

Chandler 9-1-32-1, Young 8-0-37-0, Finnis 7-0-33-0, Gilbert 7-0-8-2, Gaunt 7-0-21-2, Tedbury 2-0-8-1.
Guinness 38 NOT OUT, Gilbert 10, Gaunt 29, Young 0, Finnis 3, Reider 9, Husemeyer 0, Baker 0, Tedbury 2 n.o., Chandler 3.

OASBY V SPALDING AT MEMORIAL GROUNDS, SPALDING. SUNDAY 23rd MAY 2010. OASBY WON BY 188 RUNS. OASBY 246 FOR 5. SPALDING 58 ALL OUT.

With the mercury pushing 28c the decision to bat proved a popular choice. Guinness and Caley started proceedings in a fine fashion, building a commanding opening partnership. Tedbury D, strode to the wicket with the look of a man on a mission. A splendid knock ensued, helped mostly by Enever, Husemeyer and Finnis and hindered by Gilbert. Oasby finished on a historic total of 246 with the top scorers from last week not needed to bat.

Chandler opened the bowling with a new lucky heather sprig in his jock strap. This proved an inspired choice. Chandlers previous poor luck was transformed. Catches stuck and stumps were hit. Chances that in Chandlers poorer days would have dropped to Tedbury M. fell to Finnis. Well caught. Enever bowled beautifully, Tedbury D. could do no wrong. He left that to others of the Tedders clan. He took a five for for five runs, the second Tedbury five for of the season to date. Don't say that last sentence out loud.

With the game won, skipper Caley gave the opposition a glimmer of hope. Finnis erred from his metronomic best and bowled a few wides for the Spalding lads to chase. Young was transformed. Ball pitched on a length with regularity. Had Dennis the Menace had a head transplant. Golly gosh lordy lumby by jove he just might have got the message. Gilbert tweaked a few, got carted but finally wrapped up the innings.

After his batting we thought that young Tedbury's head could get no bigger, his father said it was medically impossible. We were all wrong. It did. He also became friends with Young. We knew he would. We waited for him to buy a round of drinks, we waited. His Dad found us a pub on the way home after failing in this regard last season. He purchased beverages for the thirsty warriors. We cheered. Abbot 8/10. Mowbray mash 7/10. Splendid.

Guinness 31;Caley 35;Tedbury.D 71 no;Husemeyer 11;Gilbert 7;Enever 34; Finnis 10 no.

Chandler 4-1-9-2;Enever 4-1-4-2;Tedbury.D 4-1-5-5;Finnis 3-0-14-0;Young 2-0-7-0;Gilbert 2-0-16-1.

Oasby v Scopwick at RAF Digby, Sunday 16th May 2010, Oasby won by 33 runs; Oasby 206 all out after 38 overs, Scopwick 173 all out

Epic victories you wanted and an epic victory you shall have.
The new Oasby arrived at Scopwick under a leaden cloud predicting rain. It did not happen. The new youthful captain twinkle toed out to the middle – to inspect the Astroturf with the opposition captain – won the toss and decided to bat. The Astroturf was pronounced “green”.
A cheerful start was made with a crisp 4 by Guinness, more followed. Hyland was immediately injured, required a runner and got worse from there on.Gilbert and Finnis made careful contributions and a big score looked likely. It could have been even bigger if Gaunt had consumed less amphetamine and restricted his ambition to shots likely to land within the county. The youthful captain took his responsibilities seriously and surprised himself with his highest score for Oasby. As did Baker. Tedbury felt it unnecessary to use his bat so did not trouble the scorer; the cunning plan being to allow multiple lusty blows from the soon to be injured Chandler 70 runs were scored in the last 8 overs. Clamp enjoyed himself greatly with several risible shots which nevertheless scored runs.
Inspection of the bowling line up revealed some new skilful members who clearly would skittle out the opposition in no time. It was not to be. Edges flew to the boundary. Edges went nowhere near a fielder. Wickets did not tumble. Finnis remembered the slower ball – it worked. Young remembered the middle of the pitch and hit it frequently – many runs were scored. Chandler continued his meanness from last season but tragedy would prevent him bowling out his overs. Shot from the boundary by a sniper he failed to move when offered a catch. Pain was the excuse. At 20 overs, Scopwick were up with their requirement at 100 for 5. Doom and gloom prevailed; a conference was convened. A hung parliament was rejected. Slow bowling was required. The deceptive guile of Tedbury called for with the obvious guile of Gilbert in support. The runs dried up. Wickets fell. Catches were taken. Glee returned. Sadly Tedbury could not hold on to the hat trick catch that was offered first to himself then to Chandler when he chested the ball to him. However by now Scopwick were a spent force. In an effort to make them feel better Young brought himself back on to bowl slowly – they did feel better and despatched him for 23 runs in two overs. The mopping up was completed by Gaunt fiercely tweaking the ball onto the stumps of number 11 and joy was unconfined. A good performance all round with contributions from all. What a start to the season. Can it continue? Did I mention the ex-captain?

Beer at Scopwick – acceptable - 7/10 – several different beers on offer; why did they all taste the same?

Guinness 31, Hyland 4, Gaunt 21, Gilbert 21, Finnis 21, Heaver 0, Young 36, Baker 4, Tedbury 0, Chandler 30 NOT OUT, Clamp 2
Chandler 5-1-17-0, Young 6-0-43-1, Gaunt 7-2-43-2, Finnis 5-0-15-1, Gilbert 8-0-26-1, Tedbury 8-3-19-5

Oasby Cricket 2008

Oasbycricketclub — Sat, 29 May 2010 11:15:37 CDT

Where better to spend Sunday afternoon?

Sunday Sept 21 2008: Ashby Carrington away; Oasby lost by 1 wicket. Oasby 154 all out, AC 155 for 9.

The last thrash of the season heralded blue sky and bird song on the green sward of deepest Liecestershire. Oasby batted first with only two rabbits failing to trouble the scorers. The most memorable of which saw Chandler contribute a trademark golden duck to much hilarity to all present. Chandler has now scored more golden ducks at Ashby Carrington than any other cricketer alive or dead. In years past Jon has had two in one innings. An achievement one can only marvel at. The high spots of the innings saw a marvelous partnership between Earnshaw and Hadlow. Both previously mentioned in the same hushed tones as Chandler amid head shaking and tutting, they batted imperiously. Scoring in tandem, taking turns to find the boundary, even the lofted salute of six was raised for a Hadlow blow. Hyland, a previous under achiever, continued in the fashion of the day with Tedbury. Quite remarkable batting ensued from the lusty pair and took Oasby to a respectable 154 all out at tea.
Chandler opened the bowling up hill and into the wind. In quite torrid conditions he bowled manfully without reward or complaint. Not. In perfect conditions he chuntered and uttered quite rude expletives at the luckless Tedbury. Gilbert, from the stream end bowled with precision, guile and venom. 10 overs of fluid, athletic poetry ensued with 4 wickets amassed. Tedbury shuffled to the wicket with the stooped gait of a man wilting under the pressure of expectation. How he has carried the team with his golden arm of batsman's doom. Simple words can not convey the pain in a batters eyes when he falls to a Doctor Spin special one. If one imagines a man running over his own dog and then going home to find his wife in bed with Jon Chandler, that is the pain of falling to Dr. Spin. He felled 4 victims. More bowlers were needed so Skipper Caley passed the cherry to Hadlow and Guinness. With the game in the balance Ashby turned to god in the form of a batting vicar. Devine intervention was needed and came with lucky edges and cows to see Ashby home and hosed.
A lovely day ended with pints aplenty in a local hostelry, amid recriminations from Chandler that it just wasn't his day!!

Guinness 9. Caley 14. Clamp 1. Earnshaw 34. Reader 0. Gilbert 2.Hadlow 30. Hyland 27. Chandler 0. Tedbury 16 notout. Reader 2.
Chandler 10-0-46-0. Gilbert 10-1-29-4. Tedbury 10-0-39-4. Hadlow 5-0-19-1. Guinness 4-0-18-0

Sunday July 10th: The Lord Nelson at Ancaster; Oasby won by 6 wickets, The Lord Nelson 68 all out, Oasby 70 for 4 off 16.1 overs

A new score book requires a new attitude, in future Oasby will crush all before them. Today they made a start.

Weather: showery, windy with episodes of rain, yet we were allowed to play by the guardians of the pitch. Teams: 11-a-side and no webbed fingers, we think. The toss: Lord Nelson batted first.

From the outset it was evident that meteorological conditions would play a part. Gilbert bowled fiercely with the wind behind him pushing the batsmen back and occasionally pitching the "other" ball while Chandler struggled into the wind, being blown off course and inviting the batsmen to "go find the ball" over there. Or there, but definitely not there. Heaver then demonstrated his slower ball to good effect while some fiendish fielding by Hadlow destroyed many sets of stumps yet brought no wickets. Some comical running delivered a run out and brilliant captaincy brought the spinmeister to bowl into the wind. Clough had clearly been fed a mighty breakfast as he roared in from the "sightscreen" end yet it was the tempting slow, slower and slower still balls of Tedbury that ripped the heart out of Lord Nelson. For what seemed many hours no runs were scored, wickets were taken, catches held (including by Clamp) and destruction wrought. And so to tea: many processed pork products later and Clough was ready. His entry briefly delayed by Caley who forgot that while a ball may be on hittable length you also need to hit it. Otherwise you might get bowled. The lovingly prepared sausage rolls then fueled some skybound hits by Clough - none quite receiving the lofted arm salute from the umpire. Nelson was demoralised. His captain brought on "Monty" whose equally skybound deliveries proved to be the downfall of two Oasby faithful and caused Gilbert to freeze midstroke before carefully prodding forward and going nowhere. Patience was however rewarded, Hadlow tried to kill Monty (and was dropped) and Gilbert scored the winning run by missing a wide and sauntering to victory.

Tedbury promised to buy a round (oh yeah, heard that before) and the faithful drank beer. Onward and up.

Chandler 4-0-16-0; Gilbert 8-0-18-1; Heaver 4-0-10-1; Clough 7-0-10-1; Tedbury 7.1-3-12-6.
Caley 1, Guiness 17, Clough 32, Hyland 5, Gilbert 2 no, Hadlow 0 no. Extras 12.

Addendum to the Addendum:

The ether is alive tonight (7 8 08) with a further message, this time from Mr Lewis (no, it's not in morse):

"I can't find Mr Duckworth, I last saw him in The Green Man, staring at his navel, but I have inspected your scorebook and come to the conclusion that A) you need a new scorebook and B) you lost. Get used to it. Move on. Muppets."

Thus only limited amounts of beer may be consumed and a more vigorous attempt at winning is needed in the VERY near future if proper serum beer levels are to be maintained.

A Stella Vista.

Addendum:

We have just received this message from the chairman of the ECB (15.30h on 31 7 08):

"Sirs,
In the interests of promoting fair play and the "Spirit of Cricket" we regularly monitor results and web sites of amateur cricket clubs all over the country. This week your club was chosen at random from literally several. We note that your match was rain affected and in consequence Oasby chased a total to win of 130. We can't quite understand how this target was calculated unless it was negotiated by (and we apologise for the use of a technical term here) a muppet. Scopwick scored 155 in 40 overs thus a run rate per over of 3.875; the correct total for Oasby to chase over 30 overs, taking no account of wickets fallen, would be 116.25. If you were taking into account wickets fallen you would have to apply the method of Messrs Duckworth and Lewis (details available from Frindall W c/o Test Match Special) As your report does not mention wickets fallen we have to award the match to Oasby. Our records can be altered by forwarding the administrative fee of £25 to 57 West Road Pointon Sleaford NG340NA where our esteemed correspondant is currently residing. He will, as they say, do the deed.
PS : it was WG Grace and random insulting of Clamps is not permitted under rule 56".

You may therefore drink beer, if the thumb prints are not too heavy.

Sunday 28th July. Scopwick at Ancaster. Oasby lost by six runs. Scopwick 155 off 40 overs. Oasby 124 off 30.(rain affected total)

A sadly depleted Oasby side of eight took to the field against Scopwick. All bowlers battled manfully with a limited number of fielders and some acrobatic but incompetent catch attempts. Bar a brilliant run out by the author, the bragging rights went to Captain fantastic Heaver with three wickets. Hyland, Gilbert and Heaver paid Guinness the pounds of shame. The tea interval heralded the heavens opening and due to the delay in restarting a highly dubious total of 130 to win off 30 overs was decided upon.
Gilbert got a jaffa,Guinness got a start but heard the death rattle of the stumps akimbo. Hyland batted with more concentration now his supporters had departed. Oasby got back into the game with Heaver and Roberts smashing 21 apiece. Things still looked in control with the bearded spin doctor at the wicket.
That all changed with W.C at the crease. Not W.C Grace but Will Clamp. He wasn't named after a famous cricketer but a toilet! A fine fielder he certainly is, but his batting needs a little work. Oasby needed seven off the last over and the death knell tolled when Chandler holed out for substitute fielder Hyland to take the catch, even though he dropped two for his own team earlier. Shall we say Hyland's only saving grace was his excellent cricket tea!

Chandler8-0-32-1.Gilbert8-0-30-1.Heaver8-0-30-3.Tedbury8-0-28-0.Roberts8-0-35-0.
Guinness 15.Gilbert 10.Hyland 8.Heaver 21.Roberts 21.Tedbury 5 no. Chandler 0.W.Clamp 1.

Weds 17th July.Seas End Hall away. Oasby lost by 26 runs. SEHall 123. Oasby 97.

Put into the field, Caley's resplendent athletes gathered on a beautiful evening in deepest Lincolnshire. Early success with a run out by Guinness and a fine wicket by Gilbert got Oasby the advantage early on. Multiple dropped catches didn't do the Houblonians any favours, gifting the advantage to the opposition. Further reward was only forthcoming when young Young turned his spin finger to take two victims.(young Young is not Chinese) Seas End Hall finished with 123 off 20 overs.
The fines kitty, bulging from Earshaw and Caley in the field, had even more reward from the batsmen. Six ducks, one golden, told a sorry story. Caley could have won the game for his boys, only to be on the end of a shocking decision by umpire Tedbury. Gilbert and Crunkhorn carried their bats. Oasby finished 26 runs short.
Being a positive team we decided that this was probably a losing draw and have appealed to the ICC for a decision on this at their earliest convenience.
We retired to the Golden Lion, where the locals hadn't seen such pure bred genetic manhood for generations. They all nodded their two heads and waved their webbed fingers to us and seemed very friendly, although we couldn't understand a word they said. We finished our drinks and fled.

Gilbert4-0-21-1.Hopcroft4-0-17-0.Tedbury4-0-21-0.Concord2-0-20-0.Guinness4-0-39-0.Young2-0-6-2.
Guinness 0.Caley 13.Gilbert 28 notout.Hopcroft 0.Thompson 0.Young 0.Hyland 6. Earnshaw 0. Crunkhorn 21 notout. Tedbury 3. Clamp 0.

Sunday June 29th, Hougham and Marston away. Oasby won by 56 runs.

Starved of cricket by the British Summer, the assembled warriors of Oasby stalked the out field like caged Panthers. A warm up game against Newcastle's finest produced a one sided fielding performance by the panthers. Humiliated by Oasby's power, the Geordie boys went home, declining to bowl at Clough and his partners. Warm up complete, the main event against Hougham proceeded in a reduced over format due to liquid sunshine. Heavers gladiators in the form of Caley and Clough opened the battering with abandon. An interruption to the scoring coincided with a brief visit to the crease by Chandler. He returned to the pavilion soon after. Harry Webster on debut put together a stylish innings to finish undefeated with Gilbert. Clough once again top scored.
Another debutant opened the bowling attack. Boydfield bowled off spin to great effect. Roberts found the pitch less receptive to his unique style of finger spin. Resplendent with new barnet colour, the ginger spinner finished wicket less. Pedro Webster gave the batsmen his full repertoire of deliveries. Unfortunately only a low percentage of them pitched on the cut surface. Heaver and Gilbert finished the innings off and Guinness, with the reactions of a rattle snake, stumping a victim. Oasby won and happy days ensued. We imbibed.

Clough 38. Caley 21. Chandler 2. H.Webster 30 notout. Gilbert 27 notout. 138 for 3 of 18 overs.

Boydfield.3-0-6-2. Roberts.3-0-16-0. Chandler.3-0-13-0. Pedro Webster.3-0-30-0. Heaver.3-0-14-2. Gilbert.3-0-8-3.

Friday June 27th, Bourne at Ancaster.

No assembling, lots of excuses, no sick notes (but they will be required in future) (for a fee , provided by Dr's Tedbury or Caley) = no team. So no game, no triumph and on to the next game with joy in our hearts. But no beer. Sob again.

Saturday June 21st , Ashby Carrington at Ancaster.

Once again the warriors assembled, fortified by previous regulars and other mighty prospects relishing the game and vowing to give their all for the team. Would we see the elegant swish of Caley junior? Would Guiness show he was more than a "behind-the-sticks" man? Would "Dr Spin's" spinning finger actually be employed? Would the Clough demonstrate his frightening pace with the promise of processed pork products? Would there be acne for Chandler to aim at? Who would captain the side? Would the rain cease? No. It rained. No game. No beer. Sob.

Sunday June 16th. Corby Glen home at Ingoldsby. Oasby won by 202 runs.

Oasby put into bat made hay whilst the sun shone. A beautiful wicket prepared by Messrs Chandler and Gilbert turned out to be a batsmans dream and Dr. Spins nirvana.
Guinness and Caley bludgeoned the opening attack into submission at seven an over. Clough, in a rich vein of form, top scored for the second week in succession with 56. Gilbert played a measured innings to anchor the side, finishing with 49 not out and avoiding a jug for the second week. Although having a standing ovation for his fifty turned out to be a premature celebration when Chandlers arithmetic was found to be wanting. Oasby totaled 245 for 8 off 40 overs.
Heavers tea was a disastrous episode in Cloughs life. Devoid of processed pork products Clough declined to bowl in the coming Corby innings, feigning faintness from starvation. All others found it a splendid spread.
Chandler miserly opened the attack with a four over lesson in line and length, ably partnered by Hopcroft who used width to his advantage. Gilbert, Caley and Hopcroft took a victim each. Tedbury strode to the wicked, resplendent in white slacks, ironed shirt and trimmed beard. He took the ball from his captain with a steely glint in his eyes. He was heard to say 'leave it to me skipper. I don't want a cow corner or long on.' Folk law will later say that Dr. spin turned a delivery, but in truth they were all his 'other' ball. And what a ball. Five overs, five wickets for nine runs. Corby were powerless in the thrall of greatness. Catches were spilt, catches were spurned, Caley fell under the high ball like a shot stag. Tedbury continued undeterred. Corby failed to reach the target by 202 runs.
Oasby won and tried to find a pub open at six pm on a Sunday. Tedbury bought a round and happy days were upon us.

Chandler 4-2-2-0. Hopcroft 3-0-10-1. Tedbury 5-1-9-5. Gilbert 4-1-15-1. Caley 0.3-0-1-1

Guinness 35. Caley 41. Clough 56. Gilbert 49 notout. Hyland 4. Hopcroft 8. heaver 8. Tedbury 5.Chandler 5 notout.

Sunday June 8th; Lord Nelson away. Oasby Won by 115 runs.

Dragged from his sick bed with the promise of a splendid tea at ' the Lord Nelson' , Clough was not disappointed. Winning the toss, Heaver elected to bat before selflessly retiring so that others could play. Guinness and Hyland opened the scoring with Clough and Gilbert taking over to set an impressive partnership of 70. The middle order continued to fire on all cylinders with all contributing and Caley scoring a cameo 26 not out. Chandler and Webster were saved for the bowling attack. With 177 on the board Clough was first in to the tea table. Having lost 14 lbs whilst poorly sick the 'Cloughster' demolished sausage rolls with the ferocity of his earlier batting display. Having top scored at batting he was jolly well going to top score at the tea interval also.
Chandler and Roberts softened the batsmen up for Gilbert and Clough to take the plaudits. Both of the dynamic duo both expertly missed out on fivefors, thereby saving themselves the pain of jug buying. Guinness was imperious behind the stumps, snaffling catches for fun and even leaving one for Clough. Gilberts leg spinner claimed two helpless victims and Clough bamboozled the Nelson captain with a straight slow full toss. He was a little distressed to have to return to the pavilion after being given the finger of death. All were impressed at the distance he threw his bat whilst making his way back to the hutch, muttering about the injustice of life. Webster shone in the field with a master class of throwing. The Nelson tail did not wag. Webster and Dr spin were not required to sweep up the rabbits.
Oasby won and we were quite pleased. We drank beer and patted our own backs.

Chandler 4-1-8-0. Roberts 4-0-18-1. Gilbert 5.2-0-16-4. Clough 5-0-14-4

Guinness 14. Hyland 2. Clough 42. Gilbert 33. Thompson 18. Tedbury 8. Caley 26 n.o. Earnshaw 13. Roberts 0 n.o.

Sunday May 18th;Ancaster away.Oasby lost by 4 wickets.
Bouncy castle injury and the zoo claimed two of Oasby's finest before stumps. Undeterred the gladiators took to the field batting first against the callow youth of Ancaster, safe in the knowledge that Chandler loves the challenge of bowling at acne. Dr. Caley, interrupting his BBQ. season, failed to trouble the scorer. Hopcroft made an impressive start on debut , Heaver and later Chandler batting like men possessing a modicum of ability. Webster looked a shadow of his former impressive form, and Roberts complete with travelling support scored 10 more than his fans expected. Oasby amassed 141 runs by tea. The best score of the season to date, but tea had the batsmen thinking they should have done better. Poor Cloughy would have loved these sausage rolls.
Ancaster started batting with the Butcher opening the innings, followed by A. Baker and A. Candlestickmaker. They all used the bat edges to maddening effect. Oasby had not an ounce of good fortune and this set the tone for the rest of the innings. To their credit Ancaster rode their luck and the youthful middle order took them home.
Webster had to be removed from the attack as the umpire was near exhaustion signaling wides and no balls. Again we hope Webster regains his later-day form. Oh, Doctor Spin. You are a prince among men. Dr.Caley had a mixed day, contributing to the Guinness fines kitty along with Gilbert who paid up like a man.
Oasby lost and we were a little down hearted, but we drank beer and resolved to do better.

Chandler 7-1-33-0.Gilbert 8-0-19-2. Webster 2-0-8-1. Bristow 4-0-23-0. Roberts 7-2-36-3. Heaver 5.5-0-17-0.

Caley 0.Hyland 3.Hopcroft 28. Gilbert 10. Guinness 10. Thompson 12. Heaver 20. Roberts 10. Webster 4. Chandler 14. Bristow 0 n.o.

Sunday May11th; Scopwick away. Oasby lost by 24 runs.
Ten warriors of oasby were unleashed to do battle on the astroturf of scopwick on a beautiful summers afternoon. Losing the coin flip Oasby took to the field with all the bowlers getting reward except Gilbert who was unsuited to the pitch conditions. Amongst the Bowling honours Clough and Doctor Spin took the plaudits with risible attempts by Scopwick to lay a bat on the Beardy 'doosera'. Clough took four catches and had lined up his fifth only to have his pocket picked by a louder shouting Thompson.
The crowd of spectators were entertained by unconventional fielding by Chandler and a game of drop ball by Roberts, Heaver and Clough. Limiting the score to 145 Clough attacked the tea table with relish at the break, carbo loading for an epic innings to come.
Oasby opened with Guinness and Earnshaw showing great concentration to limit their scoring to 22 from the first 10 overs. Earnshaw played one shot too many and departed the scene for Clough and then Guinness chopped on for Gilbert to take over. Clough, replete and satisfied from the tea table flashed hard and wide and returned for more Melton pork pie.Webster and then Roberts played much better innings than their previous, pummeling the bowling attack into submission with 4 runs a piece. Thompson played his best innings for Oasby bar none, missing out on top scoring by a single run to Mr Extras. Going along nicely Gilbert's shot selection let him down and he joined Clough for more pork pie.Heaver carried on with his good form and got Oasby back in contention but luck ran out for scopwick with Tedbury pacing to the crease. A single started the rout off, followed by an outlandish "cow" that had the paying public gasping in disbelief. If Dr Bat hadn't run out of partners a maiden century looked an odds on certainty. With Chandler at the wicket everyone present was confident of the mighty pair knocking off the required runs to send Oasby home victorious.Chandler's technique let him down under pressure and Tedbury's maiden century was left in tatters. Oasby scored 121 runs.
We lost, but we were not down hearted. Those of us free of thumb prints drank beer.

Chandler 6.3-1-18-2 Gilbert 8-0-33-0 Roberts 8-0-45-1 Webster 5-0-23-2 Clough 6-2-19-3 Tedbury 5-1-9-1

Guinness 11. Earnshaw 2. Clough 3. Gilbert 17. Webster 4. Roberts 4. Thompson 26. Heaver 13. Tedbury 7 no. Chandler 7.

Sun April 27th; away. Oasby lost by 55 runs.
The tone was set when battling Oasby turned up one player short and half an hour late.
Losing the toss Oasby were set to task in the field with all the bowlers taking a wicket except Chandler and some good fielding producing two run outs.
Marston scored 160 off 40 overs.
Oasby opened their innings with a careful partnership between Guinness and Earl, with Earl falling to a run out and Jack entering the fray. Jack misjudged his first ball and had to return to the pavillion to be replaced by Clough. Guinness followed soon after, failed by the Kahuna.
Gilbert and Clough got the scoreboard ticking over with some characteristically agressive shots from Cloughie, until Clough couldn't ignore his hunger pangs any more and retired hungry, posting the innings top score.Roberts strode to the middle with runs on his mind. He watched his first ball on to his pads and his second on to his stumps. Captain Heaver then took up the challenge with some crisp hitting with a notable six. However Heaver heaved at one too many and Tedbury was in bat. The opposition rattled by his physical presence and obvious big hitting credentials pushed the field out, but to no avail with the Doctor stroking his first ball for four, with his new bat.Thank you Mrs Tedbury. With Gilbert holding his end up Chandler replaced Tedbury. Obviously put off by the bad light, Chandler froze in the middle and looked on with horror as the clampesque delivery trickled onto his stumps for another first ball quack.
It was down to Thompson and Gilbert to steer Oasby to victory. The battling duo only failed by 55 ish runs falling to an embarrassing run out. Gilbert was undefeated. Oasby had scored 105 runs.
We lost, but we were not down hearted. WE DRANK BEER.

Chandler 8-0-45-0. Gilbert 8-1-24-1.Earl 8-1-17-1.Roberts 8-1-20-1 .Heaver 4-0-31-1. Clough 4-0-15-1

Guinness 5. Earl 6. Webster 0. Clough 31. Gilbert 27no. Heaver 20. Roberts 0. Tedbury 4. Chandler 0. Thompson 1.

Oasby Cricket 2009

Oasbycricketclub — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 13:45:11 CST

OASBY CRICKET CLUB FIXTURES 2009

May 3rd Pinchbeck A
May 17th Scopwick H
May 24th Ancaster H
May 30th Ashby Carrington H
June 21st Fenland Poacher A
June 28th Hougham & Marston A
July 5th Nelson Ashes A
July 15 SEH A (TZ Hall)
Jul 19th Scopwick A
Aug 1st Ashby Carrington A
Aug 9th Ancaster A
Aug 23rd Nelson Ashes H
Sept 6th Fenland Poacher A

Results.
Sunday 6th Sept; Fenland Poacher Away. Oasby Won by 77 Runs.
Oasby 188 for 9. Poacher 111 all out.
Oasby lost the toss and batted.
September is not a month to start a cricket match at 2pm and finish it in good light! Car headlights shone brightly as the final overs of the Oasby attack unleashed shock and awe onto the Poacher batsmen. Winning the game when Poacher ceded in the gloom was a hollow victory, but none the less deserved.
Billbo Baggins started the away teams account with a fine knock. His partners varied. Caley didn't slow the rate, his innings was brief. Husemeyer hit a personal best of measured mature batting. Hyland left things to his mates. Gilbert a brisk cameo, Hall likewise. Fun for all with Rieder and Enever at the crease. Rieder amassed his top score ever and took mature charge of proceedings when Enever departed. Tedbury hit at least two balls.
Tea was a slow affair. We knew it was getting dark and wondered at the tactics of Poacher in this regard.
Chandler and Captain slow opened the bowling. Reider took his place at keeper and started dropping things instantly. This spread amongst the team like the Clap at a Hen party. Baggins had the fines kitty bulging after this game. Husemeyer swelled a finger and will have ladies smiling for at least a week. Tedbury attempted many stops, all with feet. He was then put at slip to kick any catches that came his way. A sickening injury to Chandler occurred when his moobs caught in the turf and pole axed the big fella. Gilly turned one, Tedders didn't. The unit 'Hall' prospered, the Beast 'Terry' frightened. Caley and Guinness bowled a tricky 'mixed bag'.
Then the tactic from Poacher we had been waiting for. 'If your big boys keep bowling quick we are going home.Its too dark!'
Fair enough. Game to Oasby, Technical knock out.

Beer at 'Draymans' Spalding. Batemans 5/10. Decor 2/10. Tedburys Local. Dry as a nuns chuff. Beer 0/10. Shut. They must have known Mike was coming.

Guinness 46.Caley 1.Husemeyer 17. Hyland 0.Gilbert 20.Hall 12.Rieder J. 29 no.Heaver 2. Enever 23.Tedbury 1no.
Chandler 4-1-6-1.Heaver 9-0-16-1.Gilbert 8-2-17-3. Tedbury & Guinness 6-0-31-1 Tedbury took the wicket!. Hall 4-0-10-2. Enever 4-1-5-1. Caley 2-0-10-1.

See photos - you're probably in one.

Season 09 stats.
Batting average. Gilbert 41. Guinness 25. Rieder j. 16. Tedbury 8. Chandler 7. Hall 13. Young 9. Caley 6. Hyland 6. Husemeyer 7.
Bowling average. Gilbert 13. Chandler 19. Tedbury 35! Young 13.5 .Heaver 18. Hall 21.Caley 36. Guinness 17!

Monday August 31st; HAMS 6-a-side competition; Oasby came 3rd out of 6

Bank holiday Monday. How many Oasby stalwarts were unavailable,sick or just scared? It is not known but those that turned up had a splendid day. There are teams in the vicinity considerably worse than Oasby and many positives were discovered. Detailed scores are not available but Oasby played 3 games and were feared by all. They lost their first game to the eventual winners by a mere 4 balls - and in the process notched up the highest score made against the victors. Unfortunately their bestest batsman liked the remodeled Tedbury bowling - even though it pitched and spun a mile. Tedbury would also like it known that he scored the first boundary of the competition. Other batsmen all contributed and with greater vigour. Especially Mr Extra - who also played a big part in the defeat of Kavaliers. Here of note was an elegant stumping by Kev and the widely varying bowling of Captain Ben. How does one spot that slower ball? It is so well disguised. In this game the opening pair were undefeated ; Guinness frequently dancing down the pitch to the spinners and Hall demonstrating a wide variety of one shot. Again and again and again. Mention must be made of Hall's bravery. "I don't need a box". Oh yes you do. See photos. It is hoped that the equipment recovers. Following the deployment of a hypersophisticated abacus it was discovered that Oasby had made the semifinals. Here they encountered Barrowby, who, thanks to espionage at the ICC, knew exactly how to defeat Oasby. Smack the bowling to all parts and then bowl them out. Oasby went down fighting and made haste to the pub, where they woke up the sleeping landlord, consumed excellent Abbott and went home to sleep. In that order.

Sunday August 23rd; The Nelsons Ashes at home; Oasby 132 - 7 off 40 overs, Nelsons Ashes 88 allout off 28.5 overs; Oasby won by 44 runs

No rain, and a day of great celebration. We won the Ashes and Oasby were triumphant.
Oasby batted first and made slow progress. Diligent, steady, grafting, batsmanship was displayed with great knowledge of when to use the pad. The boundary was too far away, runs were accumulated and significant scores made by Caley and Guinness despite the best efforts of "Ken". Monty was treated with much respect, his skyward-bound deliveries occasionally travelling the full 22 yards. Gilbert prospered until "Ken" returned - Gilbert electing not to play the straight one. By contrast Chandler J felt the big heave was the better shot - and he was right. Four! Was 132 enough - doubtful but many fine proteinaceous foods were on offer, mainly not consumed by Young who favoured a suspicious white powder. It was rumoured that Oasby would open with the bamboozling spin of Tedbury - happily Captain Caley pursued a more traditional route and opened with the white-powder fueled Young and the pork pie fueled Chandler J. Skipping like a gazelle and roaring his appeals like a lion Young was six times successful, the celebrations getting ever more elaborate. Chandler quietly, meanly, restrictive at the other end. When they rested, surely the spin meister and Gilbert would maintain the pressure? Well, Gilbert did. Tedbury has returned to his county to remodel his action. Least said.......So who would step up? Guinness - released from keeping duties, prowling the field like a hungry tiger - called forth to produce baffling spin. And he did. Getting his wicket in the traditional way - the straight one. Some enthusiastic fielding, some youthful wicketkeeping (the understanding between Rieder and Gilbert will become legendary, it just isn't yet) and overall a splendid effort by all.

Beer at The Houblon -10/10 (it tastes twice as good when its free)

Caley 22, Guinness 18, Hyland 10, Gilbert 39, Young 3, Earnshaw 9, Rieder 1, Chandler 7 n.o, Baker 3 n.o., Tedbury dnb, Clamp dnb
Chandler J 7.5-3-11-2, Young 8-1-31-6, Tedbury 2-0-24-0, Gilbert 8-3-14-1, Guinness 2-1-2-1

Saturday Aug 1st. Ashby folville away. Rain affected game.Ashby 120-4 off 36 overs.Oasby Wet.

A moist scene greeted the traveling gladiators of Oasby to Leicestershire. Covers were removed and Oasby elected to get wet in the field. Chandler and Gilbert produced an inspired opening spell of swing bowling,' making it talk ',before wetness took its toll and turned the cherry to a soapy slippy mess. Young took over the mantel, sprinting to the wicket like a nervous thorough bred. He even pitched it in the same half of the pitch as the batsman. Tedbury made the ball mumble rather than talk. Nil desperandum. Chandler would surely pouch a catch off Tedbury! The panic in Tedbury's eyes as he realised that the dolly catch was spooning towards Chandler was only matched by the terror in Chandlers eyes as he realised that this was his moment. 'Grace','athletic' and 'competent' are words seldom written in a sentence describing Chandler and unfortunately they can not be used to describe what ensued. To his credit, Chandler tried his best. To comic effect he 'dived' for the ball, missing it and hitting the ground with a sickening thud. After shocks are still being reported in nearby villages and many chimneys will need attention from the seismic activity associated with Chandlers fielding. A depression in the outfield will forever be known as 'Jon boys dip'. Extravagant fielding from Young, beautiful pick ups from Hall and Hyland. Heroic efforts from Clamp, defending his boundary like a man on roller skates. Rieder kept up spirits with his shouts of encouragement and acrobatic antics. Gilbert ,biting his tongue, complained not once of the worsening weather. Hall came on to Bowl in the moistness of a British summer in August. For the second week running, Hall made the the umpires call time on the proceedings due to his lightening pace and honed direction, fearing for the batsman's safety. Covers on, early tea and to the Pub. Game abandoned.
Everards original .Well conditioned.9/10. Houblon Inn. Free pints to those who patronised. And yes. The Author did buy a round.

Chandler 7-0-23-0, Gilbert 8-3-13-2,Young 4-1-17-0, Heaver 8-1-30-1,Tedbury 8-0-33-1, Hall 1-0-10-0.

Sunday 19th July 2009; Scopwick away; game drawn due to drowning. Oasby 178 all out after 34.2 overs, Scopwick 110 for 6 off 18 overs. Rain, no, really, RAIN!!!!!! (stopped play)

The writer of this report apologises for any inaccuracies. His notebook was washed away in the monsoon that started during the match, rendering accurate reporting impossible.

Oasby batted first and largely enjoyed themselves. Runs were there for the taking but Caley and Hyland did not want any; Guinness and Gilbert batted well in between showers to reach fifties and Hall struck the roof of the passing London bus two more times in a vigorous 33. At tea Oasby were happy and eager to bowl. Another victory was coming their way. As, indeed seemed inevitable as Gilbert ploughed his way through the opposition. Most wickets best described as "puddle before wicket". Chandler struggled up hill, Tedbury lay down on the pitch (again)and Hall worried the batsmen. Other bowlers and newcomers were eagerly waiting in the wings. Fielding by all was slidily enthusiastic with good contributions from the more youthful members. Did Captain Caley have a Muralitharan up his (long) sleeve? We will never know ,as eventually the wails of displeasure from Gilbert reached the umpires' ears. The batman's (I mean "Sarge's") plee of "it's not raining much" was rejected and the match declared a draw. The met office comfirmed that Monsoon Hannah had settled over RAF Digby - attracted there by the secret communications base. We look forward to our next match there, fully expecting rain at 3pm.

Beer at The Royal Oak was very satisfactory : Skipton Ale's Copper Dragon finding many admirers. 9/10

Caley 0, Guinness 57, Hyland 0, Gilbert 54, Dayal 3, Rieder 3, North 0, Hall 33, Chandler 0, Tedbury 2 n.o., Clamp 1
Gilbert 8-0-39-5, Chandler 6-0-31-0, Tedbury 3-0-29-1, Hall 1-0-10-0.

Wednesday 15th July 2009; Seas End Hall away, Oasby lost by 70 runs

Weather: sunny with a great big black cloud. No rain. Fine sunset.

Game: 20 overs per side, 3 overs per bowler, Oasby bowled first.

Oasby started with 9 players on the pitch which rapidly escalted to 12, SEH objected, Guiness acted innocent. It did not work. Later Thompson reduced the numbers by crashing into the sightscreen with his leg. Blood, pain and vomit ensued. Doctors and ex-doctors tended him; they were useless. He went to hospital for proper attention. We wish him well. Bowling was hard work and bowlers suffered though Young demonstrated that he had listened to his team-mates. Wickets and good economy resulted. Chandler was treated with respect and rewarded; Tedbury treated contemptuously but got revenge. Captain Caley found ways to induce the call "no-ball" but all felt some degree of happiness that they had contributed.

Fielding highlight: direct hit run out by Gilbert. Gary Pratt look out!

Batting highlight: Gilbert 25 not out and later recalled to complete his innings. Dourly he prodded for what seemed like hours in an obvious attempt at average increasing. Sadly few others enjoyed success. Chandler sent in early to swing. He did but missed the ball which hit the stumps. Hall saw that passing London bus (he dreams a lot) and nearly lost two more balls on its roof. At least he reached double figures. As did Young who begins to look as if he could reach the level he says he can achieve.

Comedy awards: Gilbert's running with every partner. "Yes, yes, YES, YES, YES" How do they survive? Tedbury's stumping - stranded and pointless - why is he so immobile? Why lie down on the pitch when he should be batting. We know not.

Beer at The Golden Lion: 9/10. Good quality Bombadier in good condition at the correct temperature and Guinness with a pretty heart for Guinness. 1 point deducted for no other choice of real ale.

Chandler 3-0-15-1, Tedbury 3-0-26-1, Young 3-0-10-2, Gilbert 3-0-15-0, Hall 3-0-30-0, Caley 3-0-26-0, Kennedy 1-0-7-0, Husemeyer 1-0-?-0

Caley 2, Guinness 3, Chandler 0, Hall 11, Gilbert 26 n.o., Hyland 7, Husemeyer 4, Young 12 n.o., Tedbury 0, Clamp 0, Thompson and Kennedy absent with medical leave.

Sunday 5th July 2009; Nelson's Ashes away , Oasby won by 54 runs

It was a fine day soon to be improved by the lifting of Oasby spirits. Oasby elected to bat and prospered. A rainbow saluted the result.

Nelson's Ashes finest bowlers strove to frighten Messrs Caley and Guinness. They did not succeed. Caley felt they needed catching practice (he was correct) and perished, sadly, soon to be followed by Husemeyer failing to hit the straight full toss. In came Gilbert. Frankly Gilbert should have also perished but that catching practice is sorely needed in Weston. There followed a flurry of fours and scampered singles as "Monty" received his punishment. All too soon Gilbert was recalled. He refused. A messenger had to be sent to explain that he had been too good and he had to let the other boys play; an invitation largely refused by Young, Hyland and Heaver. Guinness slowly amassed singles then realised how close the boundary was, and had to be recalled, he did not cry. Oasby brought in their cockney ringer. Successfully. He saw a London bus on the road and with a flourish the cricket ball landed directly on it. Regal entertainment.But not to be repeated. Luckily Chandler was in smiting mood, with Tedbury prodding many singles to allow the "big Kahuna" full swing. Oasby were happy with 196 and were not overly tempted by the splendid feast, wine and ales laid on for "tea". (They suspected a plot to cause sluggish fielding and exploding stomachs).

Bowling: a mixed performance but overall a good one. Chandler mean as ever but wicketless; Gilbert improved on the previous week; Tedbury confusing to all - especially their wicket keeper failing to spot the staight one and offering no shot; Young repeatedly implored by his captain and coach to pitch it up; it is not clear he knows what this means ; perhaps his education is of poor quality, however he did collect a wicket ; Heaver as generous as ever and Hall with a splendid display of wides; and a wicket each. If Oasby had a bowling coach he would encourage consistency of length and discourage the 4 and 6 balls to be found in too many bowlers' overs.

Fielding: good, though cries of encouragement were required towards the end to bolster spirits and some doctors paid fines. They can afford them. Guinness effected a splendid stumping. Mention must also be made of the fine running out of the opposition captain by Gilbert's deflection of a fierce drive onto the stumps. The bat throwing competition once again easily won by that individual.

Beer: Everards tasteless and soapy Sam Smith's do not appeal to all so 7/10 (they were not off and the pub is attractive) hence a swift departure to Oasby and the free pint.

Is this the pinnacle of the year or merely a point on the upward gradient? Time will tell.

NB - see photos.

Caley 10, Guinness 51 retired, Husemeyer 1, Gilbert 51 retired, Hyland 2, Young 5, Heaver 0, Hall 11,Tedbury 8 n.o., Chandler 21 n.o., Baker dnb (injured hand)
Chandler 4-1-8-0, Young 3-0-19-1, Tedbury 7-0-40-3, Gilbert 7-1-30-2, Heaver 3.1-0-24-1, Hall 3-0-16-1

Wednesday 1st July 2009

We have a report of an unusual noise to be heard on the road between Hougham and Marston. Some say it sounds like a Chandler on a sunday afternoon, others say it is the sound of a wicket-keeper chuntering; words like "catch" and " leg-side" are to be heard, floating in the wind, along with "umpire" ,"should have walked" and "not fair". No-one really understands but perhaps an Australian given out in the next few days with no chance of appeal would sympathise......

Sunday 28th June 2009; Hougham and Marston away; Oasby lost by 6 wickets

On this sunny summer Sunday with much heat and moisture Oasby collected twelve players but still lost. It was clear from the start, however that HAMS were scared of Oasby - they had scoured the Indian sub-continent to discover two fearsome Indian stars. Oasby had two slightly less fearsome 'boks. Therein, perhaps, lay the difference.
Oasby batted first with grim-faced determination. Few wickets fell for many an hour, regrettably few runs accumulated and eventually despite great striving the openers departed. Guinness happy to have progressed beyond single figures. Boundaries were hard to find though Tedbury used the edge of his bat to great effect. He also caused further disquiet by refusing to walk when apparently caught behind. "Not out" said umpire Husemeyer - words that Gilbert and Heaver felt should have been repeated later. Gilbert's patient effort brought to an end by the"lbw" decision. Do doctors like making enemies in their own team?

Bowling - welcome back Chandler! Three wickets in over number one. Unfortunately no other bowler could replicate this feat. Many edges, a dropped catch, some confident lbw appeals - no wickets until the generous Heaver came on - he once again bought a wicket but the match was lost. But we felt happier. We had demonstrated great effort. A win must be near.

Beer - Thorold Arms Marston - 9/10. Good quality Abbott but no other real ale choice. Good atmosphere from the opposition.

Guinness 18, Husemeyer 7, Kennedy 4, Hyland 10, Gilbert 27, Hall 8, Roberts 0, Young 1, Tedbury 16, Heaver 0, Chandler 0no, Dave 0.
Chandler 5.3-1-8-3, Young 8-1-24-0, Gilbert 7-0-36-0, Tedbury 6-0-20-0, Heaver 1-0-11-1, Roberts 5-0-17-0

Sunday June 21st 2009; Fenland Poachers away; Oasby lost by 61 runs

The reporter for this game has gone AWOL. Some say through excessive embarrassment. May Oasby-ites were missing, the holidays take their toll. Others were merely absent through fear of the web-footed fen-folk. Whatever, the fen-folk crushed Oasby. 'Nuff said.

Vinegar - should have been beer but was not - 3 pints had to be returned with the comment "where's the chips?" so 0/10

Chandler 8-0-21-1; Gilbert 8-2-21-2; Young 8-1-34-1; Wright 8-1-21-1; Heaver 8-0-47-2
Guinness 0, Husemeyer 7, Hyland 6, Duncan 9, Gilbert 10, Young 3, J Hadlow 1, L Hadlow 1(probably), Heaver 24n.o., Chandler 0, Wright 14

Saturday May 30th 2009; Ashby Carrington at home (Oasby's home); Oasby lost by 94 runs

On a glorious afternoon Oasby assembled early at Ancaster, unfortunately Ashby assembled at Ashby. They were wrong. Thus it was not until 3pm that the conflict started. Oasby used the extra hour to practice. This helped the fielding greatly. The same could not be said of the batting.

Ashby were invited to bat first and prospered. Chandler and Roberts were once again mean but unrewarded with wickets. They were replaced by Field and Gilbert who both almost immediately broke. Would Tedbury and Heaver take full advantage of a prolonged spell of bowling? No. Both would give away too many runs though Heaver was rewarded with wickets. Where is that spinning finger of Dr Spin?
This reporter has searched diligently for positives to "build upon" and finds that the fielding was tidy (Chandler may disagree but then he always does) and no catches were spilt. Roberts took the only offering with glee. Gilbert frequently failed to move blaming pain and claiming that the doctor's medicine did not work. Could this be?

After a tea largely provided by Mrs Guinness (why were players missing? - they were watching other sportsmen perform in distant cities) Oasby batted. The tone was set by the first ball dismissal of the puzzled Caley. Thereafter Young tried to instill urgency and Gilbert grunted his way past 20. Other displays were undistinguished. Even Heaver missed out on a long hop bowled at 20mph being adjudged lbw by the fiendish umpire Tedbury. More enemies for Tedbury. Perhaps mention should be made of another Chandler 4; or perhaps not. Oasby would like to see more of them.

We repaired to the pub and drank beer. We did not shelter in the "Smokers' Den" but consumed Old Boy and 6x. They were adequate (8/10) but not sufficient to repair the sense of loss. We shall practice on uneven astroturf and concrete. This may help. To the next game.

Chandler 6-0-11-0; Roberts 6-0-21-0; Gilbert 3-0-9-0; Heaver 6-0-39-3; Tedbury 6-0-34-0; Hall 1-0-1-0; Rieder 2-0-13-0
Caley 0, Tedbury 5, Young 19, Gilbert 22, Thomson 4; Rieder 0; Heaver 3; Chandler 5; Hall 5 no; Roberts not available

Sunday May 24th 2009; Ancaster home, Oasby lost by 47 runs.

Put into bat, Ancaster made steady progress to a modest 147. Scoring was kept to a crawl by the opening pair of Chandler and Roberts who toiled on a slow surface. Gilbert kept his end tight, whilst the exuberant Caley tweaked a wicket from the other. Tedbury kept his spinning delivery in the locker for another day, using his full toss as a variation to the long hop. Fines had to be paid by Husemeyer and Chandler for butter fingering, whilst Tedbury and Guinness combined with great effect to make a non neutral umpire even more non neutral. Rieder also got in the wickets.
To Batting.
During the tea interval the pitch deteriorated badly. Oasby are so often unlucky in this regard. Wickets fell at an alarming rate. Apart from a cameo thrash by Clamp the top order were rolled over. Only Gilbert and Roberts, with a partnership of 47, stopped the rot. Roberts manfully fended the ball off with his 'old man' , his pads, his elbow and his wrist. At drinks he was told to use his bat, and his game improved. Tedbury and Gilly took the score past the magic ton to much applause. With time running out the scoring needed to accelerate. Trying to force the pace Gilbert played on and then Tedbury put his weight (six stone wet through) into a massive drive that failed to beat the bowler 21 yards away. 102 all out showed improvement.
A quick half at Ancaster and back to the Houblon for whistles to be wetted.

Roberts 7-0-22-0. Chandler 8-1-21-0. Gilbert 10-3-19-1. L.Caley 5-0-31-1. Tedbury 7-0-44-1. A.Rieder 3-1-6-1.
Guinness 4. Hyland 3. Clamp 5. Husemeyer 0. Rieder 2. Gilbert 37. Caley 4. Thompson 4. Roberts 21. Tedbury 6.

Sunday May 5th 2009; Pinchbeck away, Oasby lost by 7 wickets

Oasby travelled across many a flat plain to arrive at Pinchbeck - a well signposted pitch with many positive features. Sadly very few of the positives were in Oasby's favour. The captain arrived to cries of "Who's that man?" and "Ben, your bag smells awful", proceeded to the middle with the opposing captain and lost the toss. Oasby were directed to bat first.

So we did.

Badly.

The pitch looked good but was, in fact uneven. The light was flat, like the countryside. The air was chill with winds from North-west by west yet little could excuse the frankly lame performance of the Oasby faithful new and old. They have found new batsmen to emulate the old batsmen. The first over was great, boundaries were scored with bat and without. Caley was imperious. Downhill thereafter. Guiness craved the pub so departed early; Hyland showed aggression and was rewarded, briefly, Husemeyer showed style and was rewarded with hamstrings (ed. - I don't understand this - I think it's a kind of pain), Thompson, Clamp and Hall felt the scorer needed a rest while Tedbury tried to bore everyone to death. It did not work. Chandler and Heaver showed that boundaries were possible but all too soon the party was over. A meagre 65 runs had been amassed and twelve had been off the first over!

Bowling was a better story, Oasby only had time to try four bowlers but all acquitted themselves well, they felt. Newcomer Hall was mean and rewarded with wickets, Chandler was mean and rewarded with a wicket. Tedbury was mean but unrewarded and Roberts, though unrewarded showed promise. Two catches were spilt, though debutant Husemeyer showed panther-like ability in the slips to help Hall to his two-wicket haul.

The pub beckoned. This year we are going to award points for the ale provided at post-game pubs. "The Bull" at Pinchbeck scored 10/10 for being open, 6/10 for speed of service and 6/10 for quality of beer. Guiness decide his Guiness was imperfect as its head was substandard while Tedbury and Caley decide their "Real Ale" was "OK", ie not interesting enough and frankly a bit stale tasting. Opinion - the pipes needed cleaning.

And so to nets on Thursday whereat everything will be made right and we shall plot future triumphs. Adios!

Caley 6, Guiness 0, Hyland 14, Thompson 0, Roberts 4, Hall 0, Husemeyer 9, Tedbury 2, Chandler 4, Clamp 0, Heaver 6 n.o.
Chandler 7-1-17-1; Roberts 4-0-19-0; Hall 4-1-29-2; Tedbury 6.1-2-14-0